Fog...

Don't you love when God uses nature to teach you a lesson? Then you forget it, and He teaches it to you all over again.

A few years ago, I was driving home in the fog. At that time, I suffered from panic attacks. If there's ever stimulus that will bring on a panic attack, fog is one of them. As I was driving and starting to panic, God said "This is a good example of how you're to be living your relationship with Me. Just look immediately in front of you and I will show you the way. I don't show you all of the steps of the big picture, I show you step by step....one at a time."

Well, life's been crazy, yet mundane lately. I am at home taking care of my parents right now. It's not by my flesh's choice, but by the choice of following God's Will and being here where He's put me. Mom's been so sick off and on since her last chemo treatment...everyone hates to see a loved one sick and feeling awful. Daddy's Alzheimer's seems to get worse everyday, which is sad and frustrating to watch and live with.

Anyway, tonight while I was driving home from some prayer time at church, I got to thinking about the future. I was thinking how scary it will be when Mom and Dad are gone. I mean, it'll be sad enough for my parents to be gone, but scary because I won't know the next step I'm supposed to take. I mean, right now, my job is taking care of them, and my home is their home. When they're gone, I'll not only be an orphan, but an unemployed and homeless orphan. It's a whole lot overwhelming when my brain really thinks about it.

Tonight on my way home, there was really thick fog. I was already feeling anxious about the future, but then there I was in all of that fog. God used it as a re-teaching time. Tonight I realized that when you're driving on a dark, country road, you normally have your headlights on bright. When it's foggy, you have to turn them down to dim to keep from being blinded by the whiteness. It's the same with God...we need to be looking immediately at Him and His leading directly before us, rather than being blinded by all the circumstances of the world around us. With my lights on bright, I can "see" a lot more...I can see lots of thick whiteness all around me. With my lights on dim, I cannot see as much, but what I do see, I see more clearly.

I suppose foggy nights aren't so bad to drive in....as long as my lights are on dim.