My Mom....

My mother has always characterized herself in the same manner I heard her father refer to himself: "Jack of all trades, master of none."

My mother is a wonderful cook, but you'll not find her food in any restaurants.
She is a great seamstress - making most of my & my sister's childhood clothes; even making formal gowns for dances and weddings, though you won't see any of her articles in trendy boutiques.
Mom is great with tools - always fixing the little mechanical issues. On the day of her retirement party, I heard talk of her skills. A co-worker was telling Mom she'd changed a battery in a piece of machinery. The boss replied "Oh, I knew it had been changed, but it takes a screwdriver to fix it, and I knew Gladys hadn't been here, so I couldn't figure out who'd done that." Even with talk like that, you won't find her name in the yellow pages.
My mom was a great nurse. In fact her physician and dear friend, Dr. Fred Cycholl, told me on more than on occasion "your mother should have become an RN or the hospital should change its stupid policies, because she's the best ER nurse this county has ever seen". Yet to this day, my mother has never gone beyond LPN in Nursing.

These are but a few of the examples to support her theory "Jack of all trades".

However, I strongly disagree with her opinion. I believe my mother is a master of many things.

She has been a wonderful employee and co-worker: always working her hardest and giving it her all - even when she was usually the lowest paid.
She should be hired as a financial consultant to balance the federal budget. It was amazing how she balanced our measly budget, yet our needs were always met.
She has been an amazing friend to all she known - quietly finding little ways to show her love and appreciation.
She's an excellent sister - one with siblings calling her the "rock" and "strong one" of the family.
She was a wonderful daughter to both of her parents - loving, obeying and caring for them to the end of their earthly lives.
She has always been a wonderful wife to my father. She took her vows, such as "in sickness, poverty, good times & bad" very seriously because of her strong love for him.
She has been an awesome mom from day one! Even though she never planned to have children, my sister and I can attest to her being the Best Mom in the world! She has loved us so much that somewhere along the way, she became "Mom" and "Best Friend" all rolled into one.
She's an amazing witness for the Lord. Living her life out quietly for Him, yet never missing an opportunity to share Him with others when it presented itself.

Most of all, though, I think she is a Master of Humility. She even shows this in the way she describes herself as "master of none". It's not that she's belittling herself, she just doesn't have an inflated or prideful opinion of herself. She always puts God and others before herself - making sure His Will is done and that people's needs and desires are met before her own.

My mother truly is a Proverbs 31 woman: "Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her saying: Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all."

April 29th appointment

Thanks SO much for your prayers! Here's what happened today when we went to Mom's oncologist.

As you know, Mom's CA 125 level went up last month while still taking Doxil (chemo drug). She had a CT scan of the abdomen done on 4/22. We weren't strong enough to not look at the results early, so we peeked Tuesday afternoon. So we went into the appointment today knowing that Mom had 2-3 nodules on her liver. This made Tuesday a really looong evening.

We went into the appointment with heavy hearts. Dr. Dy said that yes, he believes the nodules on the liver are cancer. He said that means the Doxil is not working anymore. Then he said "but we have lots of other options". So he started her on a new chemo drug along with a drug that stops blood flow into cancer cells. So he said the 2nd drug should double if not triple the effectiveness of her chemotherapy. And he is very optimistic that she will respond very well with this treatment! Obviously finding that the cancer has spread was not the best news, but we are very thankful that there are other treatment options and thankful for God's peace throughout the month-long wait. Thank you so much for your prayers. We felt them and wouldn't have made it without them. Thank you again so much!

M & M hanging out!

On the Friday before Easter, Mom & I were blessed with the opportunity to go see Aunt Peggy, Uncle Phil as well as Marie & Parker!

I wish I had gotten a picture of Mom & Parker, but I was busy. They had fun playing with Parker's toys in the family room. I actually think that Mom might have had more fun than Parker. And that kept him entertained! haha Parker & Marie did take some time to play the piano. Jen, I think he's going to be a musician!






Marie & I were busy in the kitchen. Marie made cupcakes - from scratch! You rock girl! Then we mixed up some icing in different colors and decorated cupcakes & cookies. To say that we had fun would be an understatement. Marie has to be one of the coolest cousins EVER! :)

Waiting...

Here's what happened with Mom's CT scan last week. We went to the hospital to get the test done only to find that Mom had left her orders at home. She had them call Dr. Dy's office to give a verbal order and he wouldn't. He said he wanted to give her 4/1 chemo treatment longer to work. So, she will be getting the scan done on 4/21 (next Tuesday).

Now, in the past, Mom has gone in and asked to see a copy of her report. (FYI, this is legal because they are YOUR medical records - they can't deny you seeing them.) However, she has a 4/29 appointment w/Dr Dy. So she's going to wait until that appointment to find out the results. I think this is for that 'just in case they're bad' scenario. There's really no point in finding out the results before the appointment with him, then worrying over what he'll decide.

So I won't have any news on the treatment-front until after the 4/29 appointment.

Dreaded call from the oncologist....

Today, April 3rd, the oncologist's office called. Mom had chemo Wed, April 1st. At that appointment, they did her CA 125 (ovarian cancer marker). They called today with the reuslts....the numbers are still rising, even though she is taking chemo. The doctor said he's going to wait until Mom has her CT scan done to decide the next step. Her CT scan had originally been scheduled for April 22, but we called today to move it up to April 7. So it will most likely be the middle of April before we know anything.

I don't know what the doctor will say, but I have a few ideas of his options. Right now, Mom is on 3/5 a dose of chemo (due to her weakness in the beginning of this course of treatment). He may decide to give her the full dose and see if it is more effective. From what I've read, sometimes they decide radiation is beneficial (although our dr has never mentioned this). There's always the chance that the bloodwork was a fluke, but it had risen a few points last month as well, so my heart tells me that is not likely. If the CT scan shows that the cancer has spread to organs, such as liver, kidneys, pancreas, etc., the most likely option will be comfort measures through the Hospice program.

As I type the word Hospice, my heart sobs. It's not as if this hasn't been a possibility for a while. It's not as if Mom hasn't been miraculously surviving everything they said she wouldn't. It's not as though I haven't prepared myself many times in the past 2 years for the end of this horrid disease. It's not that I don't have faith that God knows what He's doing, He's God...He knows the beginning from the end. It's not that I feel as though I've been abandoned or forsaken by God because His presence has been ever-near throughout this entire time. It's not that I somehow think He's doing wrong by my mom....He loves her more than I ever could.

So why is my heart sobbing? Sadness....sadness at the thought of losing my mom at a younger-than-normal age. Losing my best friend, my confidant, the person who probably loves me the most in the entire world besides God. Sadness at thinking that she won't be there for me to talk to when things are tough, or good for that matter.

Yes, it's sad. But, my sadness at this time is almost on the side of silliness. We won't know the results of Mom's CT scan for probably another week. She could be miraculously healed by that time. Or I may be in a car wreck. Or...North Korea & the US could launch their missiles and we might find ourselves in the middle of a nuclear war. There's no telling what life will be like a week from now.

So for the time being, I'm going to choose to be thankful. Thankful for the awesome relationship I have with my mom. Thankful for the time I've had with her, and still do! Thankful that God is keeping His promise to never leave nor forsake me. Thankful...just because my heart is thankful to Him at this moment!

When the time comes that my mom is not on Earth with me, I will have plenty of time to grieve. But right now, I want whatever time we have left together to be awesome! I've been told that because of this sentiment, I am in denial. I really am not, I'm just choosing to believe Jesus when He said that each day has enough trouble of its own and not to worry about tomorrow.

I will write again after we get the results and talk to the doctor. Please keep Mom in your prayers. We have felt them sustaining us and are so thankful!!!

New Year's!!!

For the second year in a row, I was blessed with the opportunity to spend 5 days in Kansas City, MO at the Onething conference! It was such an awesome time!! This year the conference had an emphasis on End-times, which proved to be beyond interesting! We headed out Dec 28th & came back Jan 1st. I believe there were 18,000 in attendance - it is always so awe-inspiring to be amongst such a large number of like-minded people!

For New Year's Eve, we had 2nd row seats on the left side...so we were pretty close to the stage. The people in front of are the "dancing" section.

My camera didn't want to take very good pictures. Plus, I'm so short, I couldn't get a good view of the arena.

I stole, ehem, borrowed this picture from the IHOP facebook site. It's a clearer shot of the stage & attendees....from about 1/4 of the way back from the front! It was packed! The worship & teachings were absolutely amazing (as always)! And the time we spent as a group, fellowshiping with and ministering to one another were beyond words!

Christmas with my boys!!

Amanda, Jeremy & the boys were at her parents for Christmas. We had to delay our get-together because of the slick roads. But I did get to see them before I left!

It was too cute! As soon as Aunt Meredith got there holding a bag of presents, they knew what was going on! We told them they had to wait until Judson was up from his nap....so they spent a good 20 minutes telling Amanda "I really think Judson wants to wake up right now"! Too adorable!

I'm not strong enough, though...I caved. (Or maybe it was Amanda, but probably me!) They got to open their individual (non-sharing) presents before Judson woke up. Josiah is 5, so he's a pro at this Christmas present opening bit!

Jonathan got a Cars shirt that lights up. I didn't get a picture, but I'm pretty sure the shirt went about within half an hour after opening. It was a big hit! My favorite thing was hearing him say "I think...it's another box!" I'm sure that was a learned phrase either from Daddy or an uncle......hmm....maybe Grandpa.....


Finally, they got to wake Judson up to open his presents (and the shared presents). I'm convinced that I only need to get bags filled with tissue paper until the 3rd Christmas! I love watching kids open presents!


Ah, I did get a picture of the Cars shirt! They got books to share, as well as a puzzle book that they played with. They each got clothes. I really wasn't being cheap. They're moving to Brazil within the next few months, and I was honestly thinking of shipping prices for their mama!


I'm so thankful I got to spend time with the Tylers this year at Christmas! Especially since they will most likely be in Brazil by the next one. Hmm...do I sense a sub-tropical Christmas trip coming? Possibly! No, really, I have an invite from Jeremy - to the jungle...he wants to take me where I'll get be-headed. Amanda said I can come 2 times - in the city & the jungle. She must want to spend time with me before the be-heading! It's good to have best friends that go way back! :)

Christmas!!

I believe it is official. I love to take pictures, but am really the worst person to take pictures at gatherings. I get too involved talking (I know, no one can believe that! haha) and I forget to take pictures! So here's what few I have...

I think I went a little overboard on the goodies for no more people than we had. :) But it was fun! I really liked the white chocolate/peppermint fudge recipe!

Here was our true entertainment for the evening! Parker! It's been a LONG time since there were little ones at our house for Christmas. Jen & I are close in age, then Chelle follows by 2 1/2 years. So, yeah, it's been over 25 years since we've had a baby at the house on Christmas! He is such a happy baby and was so much fun! I'll have to get a copy of the pic where he & I are playing a piano duet!

Jeannine, Aunt Peg & Jen are all modeling their new scarves & hats. I got a loom this fall and had a blast! They all look so cute!

And the tradition continues....We actually open presents on Christmas Eve night. So when everyone else leaves, we clean up quickly, then pile all of our presents to one another under the tree. And this is the last picture I took - not a single picture of present-opening. Guess I was just too excited!!

Mom's retirement party

OK, so it's been a long while coming, but Mom had her retirement party on Columbus Day - even though she officially retired on September 1st. She was really fairly weak here, but it seemed strong to us at the time. I am so thankful that God doesn't let us vividly remember really bad and tough stuff sometimes. I don't want to relive those months for anything...and I know Mom doesn't either.

The girls in Mom's office know she's a big Christmas person, so she got tons of snowmen stuff & a really pretty Thomas Kincaide clock that plays a traditional Christmas carol every hour. It provided lots of pretty musical entertainment for us!

In this picture, on Mom's left is Judy Walsh. Mom & Judy are old-school nurses who worked together at the hospital WAY back in the day - before all us children came along! Judy hasn't been really well for a while either, so it was a huge surprise to see her there. Mom was SO surprised that she came, I think she almost cried! It was really sweet.



Rita, one of mom's co-workers in Respiratory, got Mom the singing snowmen from Hallmark! Another big hit at our house through Christmas!

For your retirement, the hospital counts your years of service, then you pick an item out of a catalog that matches the amount they spend for however many years. Mom saw this painting in the catalog and decided it would be hers. It's entitled "Sunday Morning" and it is really pretty - very peaceful and serene.
Mom's retirement was a strange moment for me. When it was all said and done, my mother worked at Clay County Hospital 32 years out of the last 40. She started working there in high school, went to nursing school, left a few times haha, but always went back. This time she had been there I believe for 18 years.
CCH seems more like a part of our family than actually family members sometimes! My mom worked there forever. Daddy worked there - that's how he & Mom met. I worked there all through high school and college. And now my sister works there. So we've made and maintained many friendships throughout these years!

Thanksgiving!

Another Thanksgiving Day has arrived. I honestly try to spend time each day being thankful, but when a holiday is completely dedicated to this concept, I try to spend a little more time contemplating.

This past Sunday at church our pastor asked us to answer aloud 'what are you thankful for?" I listened to everyone's response, all the while thinking "I should be speaking that I am thankful for my mom still being alive" but I didn't feel led to say anything. So I spent some time praying & contemplating "For what am I truly thankful?" Finally I gave an answer. "I am thankful for my mom's health improving and the start of restoration that I am seeing in her. But even more than that, I am thankful that if the outcome had been different and I were without a mother, I am thankful that my God has been faithful to His promise that He will never leave me nor forsake me."

There are so many things for which we all have reason to be thankful. The fact that we are breathing means we're alive to serve Him another day. The family members and friends that we still have with us. Most likely if you're reading this, you share the thanks that I do of having shelter provided, as well as food to eat. Those of us that are living in America should be thankful for the freedoms that we still have - one of the most important being the freedom to worship God freely.

I am most thankful, though, for my God who loves me. The Lord that says "you have ravished My heart with one glance of your eye." The God that loves me through it all and never leaves my side. Oh how much I have to be thankful for!!