Not Every Single Woman at Church Wants your Husband

I wasn't going to say anything, but my heart is just so troubled by a call that I received from a friend last week.  She’s a fairly new believer and very newly plugged in to a church.  She’s a smidge younger than me (early 30s).  She’s single, never been married.  She’s found a church where she has friends that attend and she really enjoys.

Here’s why my heart is breaking.  She called to say that she’d been told her friends no longer feel comfortable spending so much time with her.  Her friends are all married.  And some of the church leaders had counseled her friends that it’s not wise to invite my friend (who is *gasp* single) because she’s probably trying to steal their husbands!  She never called just to talk to the husbands.  She never sought out time to be alone with the husbands.  But, since she’s single, it’s a given that she’s out to wreck the marriage!  This infuriates me!

And this hit a nerve, because I've had similar things said about and to me.  It’s so sad that the Church not only allows this kind of mindset, but in some places, actually perpetuates this attitude.  I remember when my friends and I were fresh out of college…starting the (first of many) wedding rounds.  I was in a friend’s wedding, and at the rehearsal I found out I was walking down the aisle with the husband of the gal who was coordinating things.  I was seriously confused when I took the guy’s offered arm to walk down the aisle (you know, like at a wedding), and his wife said “oh, I don’t think you need to be THAT close!”  At the dinner after rehearsal, I overheard her telling others that since I was the only single gal there, they should watch out because I was probably after their husbands/fiancés.  Seriously?  I mean, it’s a wedding procession for goodness’ sake.  And really, I didn't think your husband was all that.  I thought it was a one-time incident, but sadly it wasn't.

I've had friends tell me that we just can’t be very close anymore because the leaders in their churches have warned them about being friends with a single woman…oddly no one’s been told this about their single male friends.  Here’s the deal…God has not given me peace to date a divorced man whose wife left him.  So, why on earth would I try to steal your husband?!  Not to mention the fact that YOU ARE MY FRIEND….or at least supposed to be….why would I do anything to hurt you?!  If I get married one day, and God-forbid you find yourself divorced or widowed, do I need to worry about you stealing my husband??  I should hope not!!

I am so very thankful for the brothers in Christ I have gained when my friends got married!  I love my girl time with my gals….but I also love being able to hang out with them as a couple.  I’m thankful for the sisters in Christ I now have when my guy friends got married!  And I love when they have kids and I get to be the cool “Aunt Mere”.  I’m thankful when I can ask a question about purchasing a furnace, get help on fixing the lawnmower, and get a guy’s perspective on how things are progressing (or not) with the guy I’m crushing on!

I’m concerned that I’m seeing/hearing an increase in the attitude that single women are out to steal husbands or worse yet, being accused of having a Jezebel spirit.  The percentage of adults that are single is rising.  I pray that doesn’t mean the accusations are going to increase as well.  I pray for the day that single adults can be viewed as WHOLE, not half of a person.  I pray for the day that genuine friendships are not viewed in any way other than Godly.

One Day...

Have you ever found yourself saying “One day…”?  What was at the end of your thought?  Or are you like me and you have many endings to that thought?  Mine becomes a list.

One Day….

- I’ll find a man that wants to marry me and I want to marry.

- I’ll adopt my “rainbow tribe” of kids!

- I will feel free in this life.

- I will travel to new countries around the globe.

- I will find a church where I feel like I fit.

- I will simply feel like I belong somewhere.

- I won’t be stuck in a body that hates me and makes me feel old and hurt.

- I will not be afraid to let people see the real me – I am not happy about

   everything all of the time – and I shouldn't have to act like I am.

Then I remember that never will everything feel perfect in the world thanks to sin entering a few thousand years ago.  And my heart will always feel lonely because I was created to be in constant communion with God.

And I can be thankful that One Day...

- Jesus will make the wrong things right.

- I will see Jesus face to face and none (or at least almost none) of these will be of

   any importance.

#Godissogood

Most of you know we've had a very eventful 3 weeks or so at my house.  Dad had a heart attack on June 12.  They attempted a cardiac cath at the first hospital we were transferred to, and then we transferred to Barnes in St. Louis.  At Barnes, we found out they had really done a lot of damage to Dad’s heart at the smaller hospital, so we had to wait for him to heal before trying to place a stent again.  Then he lost most of his strength & had to stay in a rehab/therapy program.

In the midst of all of this with Dad, I ended up with a pulmonary embolism (blood clot in my lung).  I had (what I thought was) a really bad Charley horse (which I get often), but my leg never quit cramping for 4 days.  So by the time I got home to my nurse practitioner, we found the clot in my lung.  Ahh…life.

I tried to post regularly on Facebook about everything taking place, because we were blessed with so many people praying for us that I couldn't keep everyone updated without Facebook.  I tried to convey how grateful we were/are for the prayers every time.  And because I’m young at heart J, I used hashtags in my posts.

Most of the hashtags had to do with being thankful, grateful that God has been with us through everything.  One that I used was “#Godissogood”, another was “#soblessed”.  I received a few messages from people with the main theme being that they were glad God was answering our prayers the way we wanted them, because their own family situations had not had good outcomes.  So, I wanted to clarify something.

The people that sent me messages were not mean people, they are hurting people.  People that prayed and feel as though their prayers went unheard by God.  Yes, I am thankful that Daddy & I are both still alive, and seem to be on good paths for getting back to normal.  But here’s the deal – I would still be blessed and God would still be good even if the outcomes were different!  God is always good!  Psalm 136:1 says “Oh, give thanks to the Lord, for He is good!  For His mercy endures forever.”  And Deuteronomy 31:6  tells us “Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the Lord your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you”.  The circumstances in my life do not change God’s goodness!  Nor should they change my thankfulness to Him!  And I have His promise that He will not leave me…He’ll be with me no matter what is going on.

My mom had ovarian cancer and suffered tremendously until she saw Jesus face to face.  Through all of that, God was still good!  In the moments after she passed and I missed her and my heart hurt, He was still good!  If my dad hadn't survived his heart attack, God would still be good, and I would still thank Him for His mercy.  If my blood clot had ruptured and things ended differently, God would still be near and He would still be good!

Yes, there will be times in this life when life just stinks and is hard!  It’s reality, we live in a fallen world.  Sometimes circumstances will make it hard to thank Him, hard to trust Him.  But until He fails to honor His word to me, I will choose to be thankful – regardless of the circumstances.  And I will keep telling others that I know that #Godissogood and I am #soblessed because of His great love!

Why I don’t go to church on Mother’s Day…

Disclaimer: I am not seeking pity, just honestly sharing my heart.

Today I am struggling. I suppose it’s my fault that I got onto Facebook & Twitter on Mother’s Day weekend. Don’t misunderstand me. I’m not on a crusade against Mother’s Day or moms. I love moms. I loved my mom so much it could make my heart hurt. But when you are a single woman over the age of 25, the Church can feel like the most cruel place to be on Mother’s Day. I’m not going to lie – I haven’t gone to Church on Mother’s Day since my mom died. Sitting in the crowd, not being a mother and no longer having a mother, when all the moms are asked to stand or given a rose – and almost EVERY woman over 25 but you falls in that category – is hard. Before you start to lecture me or preach at me, answer this question – when was the last time you went to a church where you knew next to no one by yourself? And then came home to no spouse to talk with about the sermon? I go to churches all the time in southern Illinois as a single 34-year-old – I DO hard all of the time…this day can just sting the heart more. And, I’m not disqualifying the pain of those who deal with infertility, I've prayed and cried more prayers and tears with these friends than I can remember. But they are usually sitting in the pew with their husbands – having someone to mourn with the loss of what they thought life would be. I’m not trying to diminish that pain. But it’s not the same as a single woman, sitting by herself, praying with all that is within her that God will keep her heart from being offended…because her heart desires to be married and adopt a rainbow tribe of children to love.

I know that I am blessed beyond belief. God gave me to one of the most wonderful mothers to ever walk the face of the earth. I was blessed that my grandmother loved and taught me so much. I’m blessed to have aunts that are so good to me. I’m blessed that I grew up in the Church & have had so many honorary mothers and grandmothers I couldn't name them all. I know that I am blessed. And for those blessings, I will forever be grateful! I will continue to do what my mother taught me – honor these ladies all year long. My mom hated the corsages & the pomp on Mother’s Day. When I was about 7, she told me “Show me you love me all year long, not just on one made-up holiday”. I do celebrate moms! I pray that you are blessed with children who show you they love you all year long! And I will do my best to show you that too! Rather than bursting in tears, looking completely sad & ruining your celebration, I’ll just be praying for you & the ones that gave you the title “Mom” from my prayer closet at home on Mother’s Day morning!

Whose are you?

As I was reading through an old journal, I ran across this gem “The important question is not WHO you are, but WHOSE you are”.  A few months ago in Walmart, this 90+-year-old lady that was stooped over her cart kept staring at me.  I asked her if she needed help reaching something. (Now I’m not tall, but since she seemed not to be 5 ft, I figured odds were better I could reach something!)  She said “Oh, no, sorry, I didn't need anything.  But I have to ask you, are you related to Helen Meredith?”  I was a little surprised by the question, but replied “Yes, she was my grandmother”.  She said “I knew it!  You look so much like her!  So, is your mom Linda or Gladys?  You look like them.”  I told her that Gladys was my mom.  She smiled and went on to tell me that she thought they were both very sweet and nice people.  I agreed. :) And then she went on her way.

I smiled, did the rest of my shopping, smiling while checking out and driving home.  My mom and my grandma were 2 of my most favorite people on Earth!  I realized, though, this lady never asked my name & I shamefully didn't ask hers).  So it hit me that she doesn't know WHO I am, but she knows WHOSE I am.  

This relates to our spiritual life.  The most important questions - “WHOSE am I?  Who do I belong to?”  In order to know my identity, I have to know who I belong to.  Yes, I am a person who stumbles & fails more often than I wish to admit.  But I belong to the Most High King!  I have been bought by the blood of the slain Lamb!!  Jesus says “She is Mine!  I paid the price for her, she has given her life to me.  She is Mine!”  As believers, we are called to be “in” this world, but not “of” it.  

I will never tire of being told I resemble Mom & Grandma, or that I act/sound like Mom & Grandpa because of how much I loved them.  But, how much more awesome is it when someone says “Are you a Christian?  I see Jesus in you.  Your actions are so much like His and your words sound like His.”?!  We are called to “Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.”!  We can’t let our light shine, though, until we know WHOSE we are.  

So, WHOSE are you?  Who do you belong to?  If you don’t belong to Jesus…I can promise you that He WANTS you to belong to Him!  Tomorrow (Good Friday) is the day we remember how much He loves us & wants us to be His – He went to the cross to die a cruel death for our sins.  THAT is love!!  THAT is the action of someone who wants you to be His!!  I will be eternally grateful that I can rest in the knowledge that I am Beloved’s and He is mine!

The Spirit of Adoption

What have I spent the last hour doing? I've been reading adoption blogs & crying over the beautiful pictures of little ones whose forever families have found them! I think that adoption is so close to the heart of God. In fact, I know it is since He has adopted us into His family.

On a regular basis I pray for LIFE - the ending of abortion. I vote, I call my legislators, I try to inform others, and I PRAY. I pray not just for the ending of abortion, but also for God to increase the spirit of adoption. I'm not really sure how you can pray for one without the other. Yes, sometimes women who choose life for their baby will go ahead and keep their little one. But, there are so many that are seeking abortion because there are circumstances outside of their control that will prohibit them from keeping and raising their baby. Some of these women have so much love for their babies, they put them up for adoption because of their great love. I think the Church often forgets the sacrifice this girl is making and forgets to love her, but that's a different story.

If we truly want abortion to end, we have to become active in the reality of adoption. I know what you're thinking, it's easy for the single girl sitting behind her computer to say that to others, but I truly believe adoption is on the heart of God. I know it's hard to wait & wait for a birth mother to say "yes", and I know it's expensive. But I also know that I have friends who have been unable to have babies that share their DNA, so they spend lots of money for all kinds of fertility treatments. I have prayed with and for these friends. And it breaks my heart to see their arms, hearts and bank accounts empty when those treatments don't work...leaving them without a little one in their arms.

I want to adopt one day. I would love to have 6 children of all different skin and eye colors, hair types and just plain gorgeousness! In my mind, I can picture having my own "rainbow tribe". I've sought the Lord on this desire, but He has let me know that adopting while I'm still single is not His plan for me. So, He's either going to send me a husband with a heart for adoption, or He'll continue to burden my heart to go to the place of prayer. I will still pray that if He has placed the desire for adoption on my heart, He will line up my circumstances with His plans. Since there's no husband on the horizon, though, I will keep praying for God to open the hearts of those He is wanting to bless with one of His precious little ones. And I'll continue to pray that when hearts are open, that He will provide finances. And I'll pray for the hearts of these dear little ones...that they will know the love of earthly moms and dads, and that they will ultimately know they are loved by the God of the universe!

LIFE and Voting

I voted early today for the Illinois primary.  (Since I'm serving as an election judge out of my precinct, I had to vote early.)  As I filled in ovals on my ballot, I looked down and, yet again, noticed the red band I have worn on my wrist every day for 7 years.  Over the years, I've had many people ask me about it.  It says "LIFE".

The LIFE band was born out of a ministry that prays for the ending of abortion.  I truly believe God meant it when He said "thou shalt not murder" (Exodus 20:13).  I believe He meant it when He said that He hates "hands that shed innocent blood" (Prov 6:16-17).  I believe He meant it when He said "Whoever sheds man's blood, By man his blood shall be shed; For in the image of God He made man" (Genesis 9:6).  For the bloodshed of slavery in our nation, 600,000 men died.  My heart grieves when I think about the debt we will pay for the murdering of 55+ million innocent unborn babies.

I believe that life begins at conception.  When someone announces they are pregnant and we ask "what are you having?", we know the answer is a baby - we just wonder if it's a boy or a girl.  The answer will never be "a rock, a computer, a telephone", no, it is LIFE, a living human being!  I also believe that the heart of EVERY human knows it is life as well, no matter how deceived they've become.

So what does that have to do with voting?  Well, our nation is divided on the issue of legalized abortion and has been since the 1973 ruling in Roe v Wade.  Many, though sadly not all, Christians are pro-life.  Yet, many Christians don't participate in voting. My belief is that we (US citizens) are something like Esther.  We have been born (or naturalized) into a nation in which we have a voice in our government.  Maybe we've been placed here for "such a time as this" (Esther 4:14).  Yes, I know that our system is not perfect.  And, I know that it may seem your vote doesn't count.  (Um, hello, I live in Illinois & normally the maps show my state all one color, with 2 or 3 counties the color of the winning party because that's where larger populations are located.)  Maybe your vote is like mine and won't change things on the national landscape.  But, what would happen if thousands who feel that way voted?  It might change things.  And, for me, the bigger issue is that when I stand before God and give my account, I can tell Him that I voted for LIFE.

Back to the LIFE band, I don't wear a band on my wrist to remind myself to vote pro-life once or twice a year.  Every time I see this band, I am reminded to pray for the ending of abortion.  Prayer is the most important thing I can do.  I know that God's heart is grieved for the millions of unborn slaughtered every year.  I know that His heart is for the hearts of the mothers and fathers to be turned to the children.  I know that Jesus longs to see justice!  So I pray for the ending of abortion and for revival to spread through our nation!  And I vote, call legislators, work to inform others....  I believe "the effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much" (James 5:16)!  But I also believe He gives us opportunities to "Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy" (Proverbs 31:9).  The unborn desperately need our voice, both in the place of prayer and the national arena!

Jesus Lessons from a Toddler

I haven’t gotten to spend a lot of time with my nephew lately due to busy schedules.  When I do see him, I stretch my arms out as wide as I can reach and say “Aunt Mere loves you THIIIISSSS much!”, or here lately since he’s a little older, I will ask him “How much does Aunt Mere love you?”  And since he was an infant, I have sang him his special made-up song (to the tune of Buffalo Gals) “Ryan is my favorite boy (x3), he’s Aunt Mere’s favorite boy”.   One day this week I picked up my nephew from daycare to take him home.  He was all excited to see Aunt Mere and hugged my neck tightly as I carried him to the car.  As I was buckling him into his car seat, I said “Hey, Ryan, I have a question for you.”  Before I could finish my statement and begin to ask my question, he stretched out his arms & says “TIISS much!” with a big grin on his face!  I told him he was right, I do love him that much!  Then while we were driving down the street, I looked into the rear-view mirror to find Ryan looking at me.  I said “Hey, Ryan, who’s Aunt Mere’s favorite boy?”  He smiled really big into the mirror & said “RYAN!!”

I realized that Ryan, as a 2 ½-year-old, has heard that Aunt Mere loves him “thiiiissss much” so many times that he doesn’t have any need to question it.  And he hasn’t just heard it, I do my best to show him that I love him.  And he’s heard since before he could speak that he is my favorite boy in the whole entire world, so he has no reason to doubt that he’s my favorite.

This is how it is with God.  I can boldly say that I’m His favorite one, His chosen one, His beloved because He’s told me so frequently of His great love for me.  Now, yes, He’s God, so He can have more than one favorite…that’s how God works.  But I’m important to Him.  He tells me this in His Word.  I hear His voice in times of prayer and worship.  He died on the cross for ME!  That’s how important I am to Him, He laid down His life for me!

So, I will take my cue from Ryan.  The next time someone asks me how I know I’m not being presumptuous of God’s love for me, or arrogant for singing that I’m “His favorite one”, I’ll just let them know it’s because He’s told me so many times and showed me in so many ways that I cannot believe anything to the contrary!

Not for the Faint of Heart

The other day, I was told "You have no idea how lucky you are to be single.  Being married is so hard, it's just so tough and so much work!"  Yeah, my first thought in my head was to react with "No, really?!  I would have never guessed that!"  I didn't, though.  I kept my thoughts to myself and just fake-smiled and nodded.  Apparently, that was the wrong response.  This person then proceeded to share with me all of the ways in which I am "lucky". 

Since I'm single, I don't have to worry about looking good all of the time for my husband.  Yeah, because you never want to look good for a potential spouse that you might randomly meet.
I don't have to worry about keeping my house clean.  Yeah, because I love living in total filth when I'm alone.
I don't have to worry about meal planning.  Yep, if I'd just quit eating, I'd probably start to look better, but then again, I don't have to worry about that.  Oops, I already forgot.
I don't have to worry about schedules at all, since I'm the single, care-free gal!  Yeah, us single folks, we never have to be anywhere on time, we can just show up to anything whenever we want.  And those friends of ours who are married and have kids, they don't mind if we show up 3 hours later than the agreed-upon time, because we're single and sure they'll understand.
I am free all of the time to take on any volunteer role in the church with ALL of the free time I have, since I don't have anything else going on. Yes, I may have a little more time available to serve in the church than my married friends.  However, when every ministry has this attitude, I end up being booked at least 5 nights a week, and many times more.

Yes, I'm using sarcasm here, but I'm honestly not trying to be rude.  I'm just being honest regarding the things I've heard and personally been told.  I fully understand that being married is hard.  How could it not be?  Two people who are supposed to live as one.  That's two separate, individual free-wills trying to join together and operate as one.  That has to be hard!  I would not argue that at all.  In fact, that's a part of the reason I'm not married...I understand how difficult that would be, so I have to be extremely 'picky' in whose proposal I accept.

Let me share with you part of the single-at-a-later-age-than-normal life that you might not find so glamorous.  *Disclaimer:  I am not trying to be mean, petty or ugly, I am simply sharing in honesty.
- While I do have independence (freedom as one married friend said), that can come with a cost.  It's easy to forget I have to be totally dependent upon God, when I'm used to depending upon myself.
- EVERY decision that gets made is made by me.  Again, while that may sound like freedom and independence, on a lot of bigger issues, it can be incredibly frightening.  If I'd gotten married at 18 or 21, so few of the major life-changing decisions made in my life would have been made by just me.
- When I'm sick, I have no one who can run to the store to get my medicine or making me soup.  Yes, I'm aware that many spouses don't do that (trust me, I have enough married friends who have shared this with me).  And in regards to a cold or the flu, that's one thing.  But, when it comes to have procedures or surgery done, I'm not only struggling alone with the decision, but also with the fact that I have no way to get home if I'm medicated.  *Example:  Last summer I went to the ER with HORRIBLE pain.  I had a kidney stone - that caused the worst pain of any kidney stone since I was a kid.  The doctor ordered a narcotic injection, but the waiting room was so full that I couldn't stay beyond 30 minutes, even though I couldn't drive for hours.  So what happened you ask?  I took 2 of my own extra-strength Tylenol and drove myself home.  The vomiting finally stopped and the pain subsided in a few days as the stone passed.  But, I'm being honest, it was rough.
- If I want to eat, I am the one who will do the grocery shopping, menu planning and the cooking.  I don't have enough money to eat out, nor do I enjoy eating out that much.  So, yeah, I have to take care of that.  Plus, I grew up cooking for 4-6 people (at the least).  Trying to cook only enough for 1-2 people is a task I haven't mastered yet.
- When you're single at age 32, most of your friends are married.  Heck, most of your former youth group kids are married.  Something magical happens....your now married friends just can't relate to your single person problems anymore.  Most issues being faced as a single person aren't "adult" problems, so they just have trouble understanding why you can't just deal with it.  I can't count how many times, just from my late-twenties until now that I have been told "oh, you'll understand what 'real' problems are when you get married". 
- Another point - being treated like a child.  For some reason, even though I'm going to turn 33 this summer, I'm still too immature and stupid to understand the same problems that somehow the 19-year-olds that got married last summer totally understand.  (Unless this problem is in regards to sex, I fully do NOT understand this logic.)
- I do have more free time in that I don't have to devote time to a husband (or child), but that doesn't mean I never do anything.  Honestly, every week, I am serving or involved in a ministry role at least 3 nights a week, many weeks that is 5 nights.  Yep, if you did the math correctly, that means I don't really have that much free time.
- It can be really lonely being alone so much of the time.  Yes, I know that it's easy to be lonely when you're with someone.  But it's a LOT more easy to be lonely when you're by yourself.  When you just want someone to talk to, whether or not they offer a solution, just someone to share life with.  Which can easily lead to the next issue.
- It's easy to be labeled as the "needy" one or the "complainer", especially in church.  I do turn to God and share with Him.  But sometimes you need a real person before you in physical flesh to share your problems, your heart, your thoughts with.  If it's a problem, I'm going to appear needy when everyone else, or at least most people at your church are married.  I may not even need their help in finding the answer, I may just need someone to listen, as I don't have the built-in sounding board of a spouse.
- The list of "he/she used to be one of my closest friends" becomes longer after every wedding you attend (or are many times in).  It is the way it's supposed to happen, for two lives to become one, those two need to spend lots of time together.  And now there are two families' worth of family obligations.  When the love of the couple produces a child, that's where their attention needs to be.  So, even though everyone says it will never happen, friendships naturally have to take a huge dive on the priority list. 
- Sometimes, at the end of a horrible day, you just want someone to hold you in their arms, tell you that you're not a total failure at everything you've attempted and that you are, indeed, going to make it through this life without having a breakdown.
- If you happen to say "I can see myself being content even if I'm single until I die", you will get looks (from marrieds and singles) that will make you think you have a tail growing - out of your shoulder.  Content - we're told to learn to be content regardless of our circumstances.  Marital status is a circumstance, neither option is the end-all to happiness.  And, God doesn't say to learn to be "happy", His Word says to be "content".

My situation as a single adult is different than many in that I'm living at my childhood home and am my father's caregiver.  So, the decisions I make don't just affect myself, but my dad as well, which can seriously add to the pressure of making the right choices.  And, I have to make EVERY decision, including all of those "adult" ones whether or not I want to make them, by myself. 

I am so thankful that God cannot break His Word, that He will never leave me nor forsake me.  That He loves me.  That He loves to hear from me and loves to comfort me.  I'm convinced that being an older single adult is definitely not for the faint of heart.  I know that breakdown would have happened long ago if it weren't for the Lord providing His strength!  And I am forever grateful for His great love!!

Be Still...

Crazy! Hectic! Busy! How many times do we hear these terms describing life? How many times do we use them? "Oh, I wanted to call you, but life's just been so busy lately, I'll try to call when I get more time!" "Ugh, I wish life would just slow down and quit being so hectic. I have no free time!" Yeah, you've heard it, and most likely said it too.

These questions keep sticking in the back of my mind: "Are we really supposed to be this busy all of the time? Did God really intend for our lives to be so chaotic?" There are seasons in our life when circumstances beyond our control dictate our schedule, I'm not discounting that. However, how many times do we really HAVE to be at EVERY activity on our schedule? I look at my own calendar and think "Wow, something's gotta give. There are not enough hours in the day!"

I've noticed that when my own schedule is booked to over-flowing and I over-commit myself, my body and mind usually become run-down. And, when I'm spread too thin, not one of my commitments is really getting all of me - just the part that I can spare.

I definitely believe this flows into our spiritual lives too. How many times do we say "I would love to be able to read my Bible, do a devotion and spend time in prayer every day, but I just don't have enough time"? Do we really have less time than those who have gone before us? We live in an age of convenience and technology. The people in the Bible did not have the technology that we do - they didn't have the scrolls on their phone, IPAD or laptop. And they didn't have commutes in which they could either read the Word on said devices or listen to the Bible or devotion while driving to work. How is it that they could memorize entire books of the Bible, yet we have trouble finding time to read a few verses?

Here's my theory: I think, in large part, our lack of time has to do with our priorities, as well as man's opinion of us. We put too much emphasis on activities that have no real bearing on eternity. And, for those of us involved in the Church, we have a tendency to be over-involved in good works that we may not have even been called to do. I think we've forgotten the words of the Lord in Psalm 46:10 "Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!"

I fear we are a generation who has forgotten how to "be still". We are so used to living in this "microwave, have it in 30 seconds or less" society that we don't know how to "be still" before God. So, we wait for a whole minute, and when we don't hear an answer, we start becoming busy. I also think that when it comes to family and church family, we too often fear what someone will say about us if we're not present for every activity, every party, every event. If my missing a birthday party or one night of group study to have an evening of being still before the Lord is lowering their opinion of me, then they probably don't love me as much as they pretend they do. If they really do love me, they'll want me to be at peace with God above all else.

I know that life is busy, but by over-extending ourselves, we're not just cheating others. I fear we're not just cheating ourselves either, but we're also cheating God. There's a reason He told us to "be still and know that I am God". He desires for us to spend time with Him. He longs for the times when we are simply still before Him, just spending time in His presence.

Now it's time for me to go check my schedule and see where I can make more time for being "still" and less for the "busyness" that God didn't intend for me anyway!