Crazy! Hectic! Busy! How many times do we hear these terms describing life? How many times do we use them? "Oh, I wanted to call you, but life's just been so busy lately, I'll try to call when I get more time!" "Ugh, I wish life would just slow down and quit being so hectic. I have no free time!" Yeah, you've heard it, and most likely said it too.
These questions keep sticking in the back of my mind: "Are we really supposed to be this busy all of the time? Did God really intend for our lives to be so chaotic?" There are seasons in our life when circumstances beyond our control dictate our schedule, I'm not discounting that. However, how many times do we really HAVE to be at EVERY activity on our schedule? I look at my own calendar and think "Wow, something's gotta give. There are not enough hours in the day!"
I've noticed that when my own schedule is booked to over-flowing and I over-commit myself, my body and mind usually become run-down. And, when I'm spread too thin, not one of my commitments is really getting all of me - just the part that I can spare.
I definitely believe this flows into our spiritual lives too. How many times do we say "I would love to be able to read my Bible, do a devotion and spend time in prayer every day, but I just don't have enough time"? Do we really have less time than those who have gone before us? We live in an age of convenience and technology. The people in the Bible did not have the technology that we do - they didn't have the scrolls on their phone, IPAD or laptop. And they didn't have commutes in which they could either read the Word on said devices or listen to the Bible or devotion while driving to work. How is it that they could memorize entire books of the Bible, yet we have trouble finding time to read a few verses?
Here's my theory: I think, in large part, our lack of time has to do with our priorities, as well as man's opinion of us. We put too much emphasis on activities that have no real bearing on eternity. And, for those of us involved in the Church, we have a tendency to be over-involved in good works that we may not have even been called to do. I think we've forgotten the words of the Lord in Psalm 46:10 "Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!"
I fear we are a generation who has forgotten how to "be still". We are so used to living in this "microwave, have it in 30 seconds or less" society that we don't know how to "be still" before God. So, we wait for a whole minute, and when we don't hear an answer, we start becoming busy. I also think that when it comes to family and church family, we too often fear what someone will say about us if we're not present for every activity, every party, every event. If my missing a birthday party or one night of group study to have an evening of being still before the Lord is lowering their opinion of me, then they probably don't love me as much as they pretend they do. If they really do love me, they'll want me to be at peace with God above all else.
I know that life is busy, but by over-extending ourselves, we're not just cheating others. I fear we're not just cheating ourselves either, but we're also cheating God. There's a reason He told us to "be still and know that I am God". He desires for us to spend time with Him. He longs for the times when we are simply still before Him, just spending time in His presence.
Now it's time for me to go check my schedule and see where I can make more time for being "still" and less for the "busyness" that God didn't intend for me anyway!
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Cakes, cakes & more cakes...
I've been thinking about making cakes, possibly to sell. Don't know if it'll ever happen, but it got me looking over ones I've made in the past. Maybe one day....
Anthony's Star Wars cake!
Just a fun cake
Fall Cake - I loved this one!
Two cakes for Mamma's 59th birthday!
4th of July celebration
A birthday cake for Mom's 58th!More Cake that I've made this year....
Chelle's 30th birthday cake
Dad's birthday cake
My nephew's 2nd birthday cake!
A White Sox cake
Allis-Chalmer's cake
My birthday cake!
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Thanksgiving!
Well, it's officially Thanksgiving 2011. The turkey has been baked & meat pulled off the bird. The noodles have been made (about 4 times extra). And I even have some homemade Christmas ornaments in the oven baking. I got everything for my tomorrow morning "to do" list finished, except for peeling the potatos. And Daddy has graciously said he'd do that for me! :) I'm trying not to be too pleased with myself, but I managed to get all of that finished after baby-sitting Ryan all day, and while taking meds for a nasty UTI and some kidney problems.
This year for Thanksgiving, Daddy & I will be at home, just the two of us. We were invited to be with family, but since I'm not feeling so great, we're going to hang out at home. I was worried that this would be hard for Daddy. But he seems to be quite OK with the arrangement.
I am so thankful for the peace and joy God gives us!
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
What if I'm wrong....
The longer I'm alive, the more I'm aware of how much I know and keenly aware of how much I don't know. Especially when it comes to theology, religions, etc. I long ago discovered that those within the Christian faith have many different beliefs and ideas. Even with those differences, most of them fall into the category of believing that there is 1 God. He is exists in the beauty of the Trinity - Father, Son and Holy Spirit...three parts in perfect unity. Most believe that God (the Father) sent Jesus (the Son) who died on the cross so that we may be forgiven of our sins. And once we've confessed our sins and proclaimed Jesus as Lord of our life, the Holy Spirit dwells within us for the remainder of our time on this earth. How this knowledge is applied to our every day life and how it affects us begins to break up the different denominations within the Christian faith.
In the past few years, I've realized I have more friends that are atheist or agnostic than ever before. I read the emails, comments and links provided by my friends. And at times, I get to thinking...what if I'm the one who's got it all wrong? What if there is no God? What if there is no life after this?
So, what if I'm wrong? If my friends are right, and there is no life after this present one, when I die, my body will be buried (or cremated) and nothing more will happen. That's it...I'm just dead. Game over. The sacrifices I've made to live a "Godly" life mean nothing because there's no eternity. The tough times I've gone through in this life were many times in vain because how I reacted and dealt with the realities in my life didn't really matter. Trying to maintain love and joy during difficult times was really stupidity on my part. Yes, I should still try to be a good person, as society dictates, but there was no real reason for me to not be bitter, angry, full of hate. When my mom suffered through almost 3 years of cancer treatments and then died, I may as well have just been angry. When I remain single because I'm waiting for the best guy for me instead of settling, I should really just settle and then be filled with hatred. When I don't understand the circumstances of my life, I might as well choose to react out of bitterness because, after all, this was not how I thought my life would be!
But wait. If I'm angry my mom died, filled with hate over being single and bitter because of circumstances, WHAT am I angry with? WHO am I hating and bitter toward? This part confuses me. Am I mad at other people? Do I hate "the universe" because all of the cells that conglomerated in the Big Bang and evolved into humanity as we know it had apparently plotted against me? If I didn't believe there's a higher power anywhere, upon whom do I take out all of that rage and anger?
For argument's sake, though, let's say that I'm not wrong. Let's say that there is a God. He's in control and things in life don't happen for no reason. Let's say that He has a reason for the way that things go. Yes, bad things do happen...and even to His people who strive to live a life for Him. Sometimes, it seems especially to those who live for Him. What if the Bible is true? What if bad things happen because we live in a world that sin entered? What if He really did send His Son, Jesus, to die on the cross for every individual's sins? What if He allows trials and tests to take place so that, as the Bible says, will draw near to Him, will learn to trust Him?
What if I'm not wrong and when these bodies die, it isn't really over? What if there really is a Heaven and Hell? What if He really meant it when He said in the Bible that there's no way to Heaven except by asking forgiveness and making Him the lord of our lives? What if, when this body dies, He really is the Judge, that He says He will be, and if you don't make Him lord of your life, believe in Him and live a life for Him, He really will send your soul to Hell for all eternity?
Those are some pretty big "what if's". And I don't know about you, but I'm not ready to be on the wrong side of this one! If I'm the one who's wrong and there's really no God (I guess I made Him up), then what harm has been done? I've lived a good, clean life and die contentedly....and my body rots and that's it. But what if you're wrong? When you die, if you haven't accepted Him, you'll pay for it for all eternity in Hell.
The good news? If you're still breathing, it's not too late to confess you've sinned against Him, ask His forgiveness, turn away from your sins (with His help of course) and make Jesus the Lord of your life!!
In the past few years, I've realized I have more friends that are atheist or agnostic than ever before. I read the emails, comments and links provided by my friends. And at times, I get to thinking...what if I'm the one who's got it all wrong? What if there is no God? What if there is no life after this?
So, what if I'm wrong? If my friends are right, and there is no life after this present one, when I die, my body will be buried (or cremated) and nothing more will happen. That's it...I'm just dead. Game over. The sacrifices I've made to live a "Godly" life mean nothing because there's no eternity. The tough times I've gone through in this life were many times in vain because how I reacted and dealt with the realities in my life didn't really matter. Trying to maintain love and joy during difficult times was really stupidity on my part. Yes, I should still try to be a good person, as society dictates, but there was no real reason for me to not be bitter, angry, full of hate. When my mom suffered through almost 3 years of cancer treatments and then died, I may as well have just been angry. When I remain single because I'm waiting for the best guy for me instead of settling, I should really just settle and then be filled with hatred. When I don't understand the circumstances of my life, I might as well choose to react out of bitterness because, after all, this was not how I thought my life would be!
But wait. If I'm angry my mom died, filled with hate over being single and bitter because of circumstances, WHAT am I angry with? WHO am I hating and bitter toward? This part confuses me. Am I mad at other people? Do I hate "the universe" because all of the cells that conglomerated in the Big Bang and evolved into humanity as we know it had apparently plotted against me? If I didn't believe there's a higher power anywhere, upon whom do I take out all of that rage and anger?
For argument's sake, though, let's say that I'm not wrong. Let's say that there is a God. He's in control and things in life don't happen for no reason. Let's say that He has a reason for the way that things go. Yes, bad things do happen...and even to His people who strive to live a life for Him. Sometimes, it seems especially to those who live for Him. What if the Bible is true? What if bad things happen because we live in a world that sin entered? What if He really did send His Son, Jesus, to die on the cross for every individual's sins? What if He allows trials and tests to take place so that, as the Bible says, will draw near to Him, will learn to trust Him?
What if I'm not wrong and when these bodies die, it isn't really over? What if there really is a Heaven and Hell? What if He really meant it when He said in the Bible that there's no way to Heaven except by asking forgiveness and making Him the lord of our lives? What if, when this body dies, He really is the Judge, that He says He will be, and if you don't make Him lord of your life, believe in Him and live a life for Him, He really will send your soul to Hell for all eternity?
Those are some pretty big "what if's". And I don't know about you, but I'm not ready to be on the wrong side of this one! If I'm the one who's wrong and there's really no God (I guess I made Him up), then what harm has been done? I've lived a good, clean life and die contentedly....and my body rots and that's it. But what if you're wrong? When you die, if you haven't accepted Him, you'll pay for it for all eternity in Hell.
The good news? If you're still breathing, it's not too late to confess you've sinned against Him, ask His forgiveness, turn away from your sins (with His help of course) and make Jesus the Lord of your life!!
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Animals more important than children?!
As a disclaimer, I would like to state that I do not hate animals. I, or my family, have owned at least 1 dog every year of my life..sometimes 4. We also had rabbits in the barn, some of which were made into house pets. I'm not a huge cat fan as I am horridly allergic to them (and they just aren't as lovable as dogs). But I do not hate animals.
Having said that, I'm definitely not going to be on PETA's list of people to recruit as a spokesperson. I mean, I'm not overly fond of killing an animal simply for its fur or skin. However, I'm most definitely a carnivore, so I'm aware that for my daily diet, some animals have been killed. And that thought doesn't keep me awake at night. In fact, with an ambien, I manage to sleep quite well. :)
What does keep me awake at night? When I think of all of the children, in our country and around the globe, who have no parents, no home, nobody that loves or wants them...this is something that can keep me awake and in prayer at night. Children who are severely abused and neglected, yet no one cares enough to be bold & call to report the family. I grew up in a poor household with a disabled father. Times got hard and money was tight. But I NEVER went without shelter, food and clothing. And I ALWAYS knew the love of my parents (and grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, church family, etc). I can never imagine what it would have been like if my parents had not fed me, nor what it would do to me if my parents had beaten me on a regular basis. I cannot imagine what these little ones go through who have to live on the streets. Who have to beg for, or even steal, their food. Who don't know if they'll make it through the night without being raped or kidnapped & sold into the sex slave trade. As I type those things, my heart hurts SO much, and honestly, my stomach feels sick.
OK, so I have a heart for orphans & basically all children...why am I writing this? Well, it's because of the spot that children have in my heart, that I get so beyond irritated with our society. At least once an hour, regardless of what channel I'm watching, I hear a Sarah McLachlin song come on a commercial and the famous Hollywood celebrity tells me that the abuses these animals face are horrible. And I should send money to keep animals from being abused or homeless.
Why does that irritate me? Well, for one, it could be that other than maybe in April (which is child abuse awareness month), I never see people saying that we should send money for kid in foster care or that are orphaned. Or, it could be because the same people who are spokespersons on those types of commercials are also HUGE supporters of abortion. To me, when a society points out the "inhumane treatment" of animals, yet they fight tooth & nail for the rights to KILL unborn CHILDREN, it sends the message that animals are more important that our children.
I mean, really, what kind of message does that send to our children, our future and our present? "Well, you're lucky you were born, because abortion is legal and we thought about it. Don't get us wrong, we're good people. We send money to animals shelters all of the time to help those poor innocent animals, but we just weren't for sure we had enough money to have you, so we had to consider killing you because you might not have a good life." Wow...that would make me feel so loved by my parents, wouldn't it you?!
Having said that, I'm definitely not going to be on PETA's list of people to recruit as a spokesperson. I mean, I'm not overly fond of killing an animal simply for its fur or skin. However, I'm most definitely a carnivore, so I'm aware that for my daily diet, some animals have been killed. And that thought doesn't keep me awake at night. In fact, with an ambien, I manage to sleep quite well. :)
What does keep me awake at night? When I think of all of the children, in our country and around the globe, who have no parents, no home, nobody that loves or wants them...this is something that can keep me awake and in prayer at night. Children who are severely abused and neglected, yet no one cares enough to be bold & call to report the family. I grew up in a poor household with a disabled father. Times got hard and money was tight. But I NEVER went without shelter, food and clothing. And I ALWAYS knew the love of my parents (and grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, church family, etc). I can never imagine what it would have been like if my parents had not fed me, nor what it would do to me if my parents had beaten me on a regular basis. I cannot imagine what these little ones go through who have to live on the streets. Who have to beg for, or even steal, their food. Who don't know if they'll make it through the night without being raped or kidnapped & sold into the sex slave trade. As I type those things, my heart hurts SO much, and honestly, my stomach feels sick.
OK, so I have a heart for orphans & basically all children...why am I writing this? Well, it's because of the spot that children have in my heart, that I get so beyond irritated with our society. At least once an hour, regardless of what channel I'm watching, I hear a Sarah McLachlin song come on a commercial and the famous Hollywood celebrity tells me that the abuses these animals face are horrible. And I should send money to keep animals from being abused or homeless.
Why does that irritate me? Well, for one, it could be that other than maybe in April (which is child abuse awareness month), I never see people saying that we should send money for kid in foster care or that are orphaned. Or, it could be because the same people who are spokespersons on those types of commercials are also HUGE supporters of abortion. To me, when a society points out the "inhumane treatment" of animals, yet they fight tooth & nail for the rights to KILL unborn CHILDREN, it sends the message that animals are more important that our children.
I mean, really, what kind of message does that send to our children, our future and our present? "Well, you're lucky you were born, because abortion is legal and we thought about it. Don't get us wrong, we're good people. We send money to animals shelters all of the time to help those poor innocent animals, but we just weren't for sure we had enough money to have you, so we had to consider killing you because you might not have a good life." Wow...that would make me feel so loved by my parents, wouldn't it you?!
Monday, July 18, 2011
Heartbroken...
Tonight while I was checking Facebook & twitter before getting ready for bed, the TV was on in my room. I don't know what channel it was on...but all of the sudden my heart was gripped by what I was hearing.
I watched a clip about a family in Guatemala whose son & daughter needed hearing aids. Someone had bought them hearing aids a while back, but they only had enough batteries for a month...and couldn't afford (or get to) new batteries. They looked to be teenagers, yet the girl had only successfully passed 1st grade and the boy hadn't even completed that much, because they couldn't hear. The parents talked of how it broke their hearts, but to get a bus ticket to the city where they could buy 2 batteries would cost an entire month's salary for them. So the kids worked hard, but in silence. This organization went down, took them to a hearing specialist, bought them new hearing aids & 10-year supply of batteries!
When I hear stories like this, tears are in my eyes and my heart aches. And then I remember different times I would be walking down my own street in Guangzhou, China, and see children begging...sometimes missing limbs, blind or looking emaciated. There were more times than I can remember that I emptied my wallet and cried because I didn't have more to give them. These are the moments I wish God had called me into a high-paying field and blessed me with a full-time job. (Mission work and worship leading isn't really for those seeking to get rich quick! ha!)
And then I stop to realize that sometimes I've been able to callous my heart in those moments...justifying that my money is from God & He wants to bless me for serving Him...and someone else will just have to provide for those people. I'm not saying that God doesn't want those who do His work to have nice things, don't get me wrong. But, I have to be careful to remember He entrusted me with that money, He didn't give it to me. And the nice things, He entrusted me with those too. They're really His, not mine.
When I keep the mindset that all money & things are really God's that He's lending to me, it makes it so much easier to give to "the least of these" among us. My prayer is that He keeps reminding me, and I keep my spirit open to hear those soft whispers & feel the gentle nudges to help others with whatever I have to give.
Even if I don't have money or material items to give, I always have Jesus to share with them...and, honestly, He's what we all need!
I watched a clip about a family in Guatemala whose son & daughter needed hearing aids. Someone had bought them hearing aids a while back, but they only had enough batteries for a month...and couldn't afford (or get to) new batteries. They looked to be teenagers, yet the girl had only successfully passed 1st grade and the boy hadn't even completed that much, because they couldn't hear. The parents talked of how it broke their hearts, but to get a bus ticket to the city where they could buy 2 batteries would cost an entire month's salary for them. So the kids worked hard, but in silence. This organization went down, took them to a hearing specialist, bought them new hearing aids & 10-year supply of batteries!
When I hear stories like this, tears are in my eyes and my heart aches. And then I remember different times I would be walking down my own street in Guangzhou, China, and see children begging...sometimes missing limbs, blind or looking emaciated. There were more times than I can remember that I emptied my wallet and cried because I didn't have more to give them. These are the moments I wish God had called me into a high-paying field and blessed me with a full-time job. (Mission work and worship leading isn't really for those seeking to get rich quick! ha!)
And then I stop to realize that sometimes I've been able to callous my heart in those moments...justifying that my money is from God & He wants to bless me for serving Him...and someone else will just have to provide for those people. I'm not saying that God doesn't want those who do His work to have nice things, don't get me wrong. But, I have to be careful to remember He entrusted me with that money, He didn't give it to me. And the nice things, He entrusted me with those too. They're really His, not mine.
When I keep the mindset that all money & things are really God's that He's lending to me, it makes it so much easier to give to "the least of these" among us. My prayer is that He keeps reminding me, and I keep my spirit open to hear those soft whispers & feel the gentle nudges to help others with whatever I have to give.
Even if I don't have money or material items to give, I always have Jesus to share with them...and, honestly, He's what we all need!
Saturday, June 11, 2011
June 12th, My Momma, Carol & Heaven's gain
Well, it's June 12th. A date more commonly known at our house as "Momma's birthday". Sometimes it's hard to believe this is the second June 12th that she's not here with us. Other times, well, some days it seems like it's been soo long since I've seen her, given her a hug or heard her voice. My pastor told me once (regarding a different issue) that "time callouses all wounds". I think it's true, though. I mean, some hurts I don't know that we "heal" from, we don't necessarily "get over" them, but God helps us to make a new "normal" for ourselves. And, over time, those stings that we feel in this life just sting a little bit less.
I'm not saying I don't miss my momma. Don't get me wrong. I miss her a lot. But, I was blessed with parents and grandparents that were such good teachers, and they taught us that death is a natural part of life. And as sure as you're born, you will die. It happens. And for those of us still living, life has to go on. We can't just curl up in a ball and quit life, we have to keep going. And I know my mom wouldn't want me to crawl into a corner and quit. She told me as much herself! She also told me that she might be selfish, but she was secretly a little glad to know that I'd cry tears after she was gone. She wasn't glad she'd be leaving us, nor that we'd miss her so much & our hearts would hurt, but she was being honest. And honestly, who doesn't want to know that they're deeply missed because they were deeply loved?!
In other news tonight, I got a message a few hours ago that my friend Carol, who also battled ovarian cancer, finished her fight Saturday evening. I only knew her for 10 months, but in those 10 months, she became such a good friend. And a family member, as she's part of God's family! I will miss her too!
I have to be honest and say that I am grateful that both Momma & Carol are not suffering from their horrid disease any longer! And I'm jealous of them both - that they're in the presence of God right now!
I've studied the Bible my whole life. And after my grandparents died, I started studying what it says about Heaven a little closer. And when Mom got sick, I started studying even harder. Today....I still don't understand how things work in Heaven. I think I understand that we will know people from this life, and we will continue to meet new people. I don't think people in Heaven can see us down here as I don't know how that works with the "no tears" policy Heaven has. I fear that my loved ones there would be sad when they witness me screwing up and sinning yet again. I could be wrong...but that's my current conclusion. :)
I really do believe that we'll continue to make new friends, though. And I can almost see my mom and Carol meeting. They'll be able to share their victory stories of having won their battles with ovarian cancer. Yes, they did die and leave their Earthly bodies...but the beauty in that, they're completely healed now! No more cancer! God wins! And for that fact, I wouldn't wish for either of them to come back. As my pastor said at Mom's funeral "we wouldn't wish for her to come back from Heaven, because even if she had a perfectly healthy body, she would still have to die again one day".
So, yeah, I miss my momma. And I already miss my friend. But, it makes that song I grew up singing in church "Heaven's getting sweeter every day" seem all the more true. The more years I live on this Earth, the more treasures I have in Heaven!
For those of you who never knew my Mom...here's a pic of her on her 58th birthday!
I'm not saying I don't miss my momma. Don't get me wrong. I miss her a lot. But, I was blessed with parents and grandparents that were such good teachers, and they taught us that death is a natural part of life. And as sure as you're born, you will die. It happens. And for those of us still living, life has to go on. We can't just curl up in a ball and quit life, we have to keep going. And I know my mom wouldn't want me to crawl into a corner and quit. She told me as much herself! She also told me that she might be selfish, but she was secretly a little glad to know that I'd cry tears after she was gone. She wasn't glad she'd be leaving us, nor that we'd miss her so much & our hearts would hurt, but she was being honest. And honestly, who doesn't want to know that they're deeply missed because they were deeply loved?!
In other news tonight, I got a message a few hours ago that my friend Carol, who also battled ovarian cancer, finished her fight Saturday evening. I only knew her for 10 months, but in those 10 months, she became such a good friend. And a family member, as she's part of God's family! I will miss her too!
I have to be honest and say that I am grateful that both Momma & Carol are not suffering from their horrid disease any longer! And I'm jealous of them both - that they're in the presence of God right now!
I've studied the Bible my whole life. And after my grandparents died, I started studying what it says about Heaven a little closer. And when Mom got sick, I started studying even harder. Today....I still don't understand how things work in Heaven. I think I understand that we will know people from this life, and we will continue to meet new people. I don't think people in Heaven can see us down here as I don't know how that works with the "no tears" policy Heaven has. I fear that my loved ones there would be sad when they witness me screwing up and sinning yet again. I could be wrong...but that's my current conclusion. :)
I really do believe that we'll continue to make new friends, though. And I can almost see my mom and Carol meeting. They'll be able to share their victory stories of having won their battles with ovarian cancer. Yes, they did die and leave their Earthly bodies...but the beauty in that, they're completely healed now! No more cancer! God wins! And for that fact, I wouldn't wish for either of them to come back. As my pastor said at Mom's funeral "we wouldn't wish for her to come back from Heaven, because even if she had a perfectly healthy body, she would still have to die again one day".
So, yeah, I miss my momma. And I already miss my friend. But, it makes that song I grew up singing in church "Heaven's getting sweeter every day" seem all the more true. The more years I live on this Earth, the more treasures I have in Heaven!
For those of you who never knew my Mom...here's a pic of her on her 58th birthday!
Friday, May 20, 2011
Mawwiage...
What am I looking for in a husband? Being 31 and single for all of those 31 years, this is a question I've pondered before. However, the past few years of my life have been filled with such craziness that the thought of a husband entering the picture, well, it wasn't really much of a thought. For the year I was in China, it was a contractual issue that there would be no dating. Upon returning to the States, I moved to Florida for a few months and then came back to Illinois. Not staying in any one place longer than a few months didn't seem to lead to any lasting relationships. Then my mom was diagnosed with cancer and the following 3 years were spent desiring time to sleep...forget hoping/praying for a man, I was excited at the prospect of sleeping for more than 4 consecutive hours! Since Mom's been gone, I'm still with my dad full-time, but there's only one parent now, and I've gotten some rest and had time to think.
Last week, a friend told me that she's praying for me...for many things, but one of the specifics is for the husband that God has for me. So this took my thoughts where they hadn't really been in a while. Marriage. And that lead to me doing what I think I do best...asking questions!!
Do I feel that marriage is a desire God's laid upon my heart or something I feel I'm suppose to desire because society says it's good? Could I live contentedly as a single person until I die or Jesus comes back, if that's what God asks of me? If marriage is in His plan for my life, what exactly am I looking for? What are the qualities in a man that are non-negotiable and what are those that are just preferences?
Honestly, over the years, I've learned that I am a fairly girly-girl....well I have my moments at least. But for being as girly as I am, I am quite possibly the least romantic girly-girl in history! Don't get me wrong, I love romantic gestures...flowers, love notes, etc. What I mean is that I cringe when I hear lines in a movie such as Jerry McGuire "You complete me." Uh, no. I don't think that's how it is supposed to work. God says that He is enough for me, His grace is sufficient...I think that kinda means I'm already complete as long as I have Him. He created Adam & said that it wasn't good for man to be alone, so He created Eve as Adam's helpmeet. They were made to compliment one another, not complete each other. He said "two shall be one", not two halves will become one. And I don't buy into the notion of "falling in love". If that were true, you could just as easily "fall out of love". Love is a decision, it is a choice that we make. And I am old enough & have enough married friends to know, some days that choice is harder to make than others. But it's still a choice, not an emotion.
I know that marriage is a desire of my heart, but what I'm trying to figure out is whether I put it there or if God placed that desire there. I do know that my heart's desire is also to adopt. And as much as I've prayed, I do not feel led to adopt without being married. So if adoption is to happen, He will send the right man into my life.
So what am I looking for in a husband? My list is pretty different now than when I was, say, 15. haha I no longer desire the perfect man that is just the right mix of rugged manliness, yet has a great sense of fashion; has the best sense of humor in the world, yet can be serious the moment I need him to be; has to be strong and masculine, yet be able to show his more vulnerable side at a moment's notice. I've come to realize I will never meet a perfect man other than Jesus. And that's a good thing, because I would hate the thought that God would pair me with a perfect man - I know exactly how horribly flawed I am!!
Non-negotiables, though, include a man whose heart has completely been given to the Lord. A man that seeks the Lord before making decisions, and seeks Godly counsel. A man whose prayer life is the strongest part of him. A man that realizes and accepts no matter how hard I may try, I will never be perfect towards him. But he also knows that my heart's desire is to be pleasing unto the Lord; that we would spur one another on in our relationship with the Lord. I want a marriage that would be a partnership of serving the Lord faithfully. A man that is spiritually mature, so that I would have no qualms about placing him in a place of spiritual authority over me, as he would become the spiritual head of our household. A man who knows how to be a man, who knows how to lead people to God. I know that he will not be all of these things all of the time, because he will be human (unless there's a real life Superman out there! haha), but this man...his heart would strive to be these things at all times! I would also love to have someone that is just there for me, to give me a hug, hold me when I cry, scratch that spot in the middle of my back that I can never quite reach!! ha
I don't care so much what he looks like, though I gotta admit that I'm a sucker for curly hair. He doesn't have to sing or play an instrument, though those make me swoon! ha He doesn't have to have a wonderful job with great pay. He doesn't have to be in full-time ministry. He doesn't have to have the world's most perfect smile, although perfectly straight teeth would definitely have been a selling point for my mama!! He just has to have a heart that smiles with the love of the Lord. He doesn't have to have the darkest of brown eyes or the deepest of blue. He just has to have eyes that are full of the love of the Lord.
I know that if God does have marriage in store for me, He is all-knowing. So God knows exactly what characteristics this man and I possess, the qualities that would cause us to strive for a relationship that encourages us both towards the Lord. One that would cause us both to desire to love each other and other people even more with the love of the Lord than we have in the past!
And the crazy ride that I've had in walking with the Lord has shown me that if I am to never marry, I can be content. He has proven more times than I can count that He is more than enough for me. And He will always provide my needs.
Last week, a friend told me that she's praying for me...for many things, but one of the specifics is for the husband that God has for me. So this took my thoughts where they hadn't really been in a while. Marriage. And that lead to me doing what I think I do best...asking questions!!
Do I feel that marriage is a desire God's laid upon my heart or something I feel I'm suppose to desire because society says it's good? Could I live contentedly as a single person until I die or Jesus comes back, if that's what God asks of me? If marriage is in His plan for my life, what exactly am I looking for? What are the qualities in a man that are non-negotiable and what are those that are just preferences?
Honestly, over the years, I've learned that I am a fairly girly-girl....well I have my moments at least. But for being as girly as I am, I am quite possibly the least romantic girly-girl in history! Don't get me wrong, I love romantic gestures...flowers, love notes, etc. What I mean is that I cringe when I hear lines in a movie such as Jerry McGuire "You complete me." Uh, no. I don't think that's how it is supposed to work. God says that He is enough for me, His grace is sufficient...I think that kinda means I'm already complete as long as I have Him. He created Adam & said that it wasn't good for man to be alone, so He created Eve as Adam's helpmeet. They were made to compliment one another, not complete each other. He said "two shall be one", not two halves will become one. And I don't buy into the notion of "falling in love". If that were true, you could just as easily "fall out of love". Love is a decision, it is a choice that we make. And I am old enough & have enough married friends to know, some days that choice is harder to make than others. But it's still a choice, not an emotion.
I know that marriage is a desire of my heart, but what I'm trying to figure out is whether I put it there or if God placed that desire there. I do know that my heart's desire is also to adopt. And as much as I've prayed, I do not feel led to adopt without being married. So if adoption is to happen, He will send the right man into my life.
So what am I looking for in a husband? My list is pretty different now than when I was, say, 15. haha I no longer desire the perfect man that is just the right mix of rugged manliness, yet has a great sense of fashion; has the best sense of humor in the world, yet can be serious the moment I need him to be; has to be strong and masculine, yet be able to show his more vulnerable side at a moment's notice. I've come to realize I will never meet a perfect man other than Jesus. And that's a good thing, because I would hate the thought that God would pair me with a perfect man - I know exactly how horribly flawed I am!!
Non-negotiables, though, include a man whose heart has completely been given to the Lord. A man that seeks the Lord before making decisions, and seeks Godly counsel. A man whose prayer life is the strongest part of him. A man that realizes and accepts no matter how hard I may try, I will never be perfect towards him. But he also knows that my heart's desire is to be pleasing unto the Lord; that we would spur one another on in our relationship with the Lord. I want a marriage that would be a partnership of serving the Lord faithfully. A man that is spiritually mature, so that I would have no qualms about placing him in a place of spiritual authority over me, as he would become the spiritual head of our household. A man who knows how to be a man, who knows how to lead people to God. I know that he will not be all of these things all of the time, because he will be human (unless there's a real life Superman out there! haha), but this man...his heart would strive to be these things at all times! I would also love to have someone that is just there for me, to give me a hug, hold me when I cry, scratch that spot in the middle of my back that I can never quite reach!! ha
I don't care so much what he looks like, though I gotta admit that I'm a sucker for curly hair. He doesn't have to sing or play an instrument, though those make me swoon! ha He doesn't have to have a wonderful job with great pay. He doesn't have to be in full-time ministry. He doesn't have to have the world's most perfect smile, although perfectly straight teeth would definitely have been a selling point for my mama!! He just has to have a heart that smiles with the love of the Lord. He doesn't have to have the darkest of brown eyes or the deepest of blue. He just has to have eyes that are full of the love of the Lord.
I know that if God does have marriage in store for me, He is all-knowing. So God knows exactly what characteristics this man and I possess, the qualities that would cause us to strive for a relationship that encourages us both towards the Lord. One that would cause us both to desire to love each other and other people even more with the love of the Lord than we have in the past!
And the crazy ride that I've had in walking with the Lord has shown me that if I am to never marry, I can be content. He has proven more times than I can count that He is more than enough for me. And He will always provide my needs.
Monday, April 25, 2011
Resurrection Day...
Another Easter has passed. I prefer calling it Resurrection Day, but even within the Church it seems hard to get away from calling it "Easter". I love this holiday. I love knowing that my Savior physically died on a cross for me. I know that it was for all humanity, and I know that He was completing His Father's Will. but that doesn't change the fact that He did it for ME! How humbling is that!
but that's not the end of the story! He was laid in the tomb on Friday, but on Sunday - He came back! He defeated Hell and the grave! Yeah, my physical body will die one day..."all flesh is grass...the grass withers away". But my spirit won't stay with the dead flesh I will one day shed. He came back in His resurrected body. And I will get one of those one day too! All because He made it possible 2000 years ago!
And I think the one of the things that blows my mind the most (although a lot of things blow my mind) is that He's going to keep that physical form FOREVER! We know that when He saw the people after His resurrection and before the ascension, He had a body that was flesh and bones. Do you know what that means?! In Heaven, right now, there is a God-Man (Jesus) interceding in prayer on our behalf before His Father! Fully God, fully man. I don't pretend to know how that works, but I know that everytime I study the Scripture, it resonates with the spirit inside of me!
And what's even more awesome - He's not staying in Heaven! He's coming back again!!! He's coming back on that Great & Terrible Day of the Lord. He's coming back to claim His inheritance - the nations! The ones He's been praying for to the Father! He's coming back to claim His Bride!
I can't imagine what it would have been like to be one of the people who saw Jesus in His resurrected body after watching Him be crucified. But I know something that would have been hard for them to grasp....I know the end of the story!! The story didn't end when He died on the cross, it didn't end when He come back that Sunday, it didn't end when He ascended into Heaven. He's coming back! The story is still taking place! He loves us, He's praying for us and He's coming back for us! Oh what joy that fills my soul at the thought of it all!!!
but that's not the end of the story! He was laid in the tomb on Friday, but on Sunday - He came back! He defeated Hell and the grave! Yeah, my physical body will die one day..."all flesh is grass...the grass withers away". But my spirit won't stay with the dead flesh I will one day shed. He came back in His resurrected body. And I will get one of those one day too! All because He made it possible 2000 years ago!
And I think the one of the things that blows my mind the most (although a lot of things blow my mind) is that He's going to keep that physical form FOREVER! We know that when He saw the people after His resurrection and before the ascension, He had a body that was flesh and bones. Do you know what that means?! In Heaven, right now, there is a God-Man (Jesus) interceding in prayer on our behalf before His Father! Fully God, fully man. I don't pretend to know how that works, but I know that everytime I study the Scripture, it resonates with the spirit inside of me!
And what's even more awesome - He's not staying in Heaven! He's coming back again!!! He's coming back on that Great & Terrible Day of the Lord. He's coming back to claim His inheritance - the nations! The ones He's been praying for to the Father! He's coming back to claim His Bride!
I can't imagine what it would have been like to be one of the people who saw Jesus in His resurrected body after watching Him be crucified. But I know something that would have been hard for them to grasp....I know the end of the story!! The story didn't end when He died on the cross, it didn't end when He come back that Sunday, it didn't end when He ascended into Heaven. He's coming back! The story is still taking place! He loves us, He's praying for us and He's coming back for us! Oh what joy that fills my soul at the thought of it all!!!
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Sin Again?? Really??
Why can't I seem to get a grasp on this sinning thing?! Really!! I've been following the Lord since I was 10 and accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior. So, wouldn't one think that by age 31, I'd have this sin mess figured out? I've been following Him for a little over 2/3 of my life...I mean, if you've done something for 2/3 of your life, you should have it down, right?
Well, honestly, I don't think anyone gets it down completely. I don't think we'll truly accomplish that until we see Him face to face. What I do know (and there are almost too many Scriptures to try to pick one) is that He forgives my sin. Even if I mess up everyday, He still forgives me because He loves me. And He's in the grace business. I John 1:8-9 "8 If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. 9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." Oh the faithfulness and justice of the Lord!! Oh how thankful I am for Him & His love!!
Does this mean I stop striving for a life without sin? No! I will strive for that until I meet Him in the flesh! Paul explains in Romans 7 how we know God's law, but our flesh takes us where we don't want to go and into things we don't want to do.
Sometimes I'm very thankful that I'm the only one that reads my blog...my own online diary. I know that this is a bunch of ramblings typed out, partly due to a sleeping pill kicking in (haha). But partly because this is how my brain works when I'm working things out with the Lord. He is able to follow the bunny trails that my brain takes! Actually, He knows where my thoughts are going before I do. And He gently guides me through all of these trails until I see Truth. He leads me through His Word to Truth. He leads me unto Himself - Truth! And I know that regardless of how garbled my thoughts may be, He is my Rock. He's the One who is Truth. I can always come back to the fact that He loves me, He died on the cross bearing my sins so that I may be forgiven, and that He will never leave me. He will continue guiding me on the path that leads me closer to Him. Some days I'll do better than others. Some days I'll fall a lot harder than others. Some days my mood will be better than others. But I know that no matter what's going on with me, He is unchanging! His love, forgiveness, grace and presence will never change, never leave, never go away!! And for that, I'm so thankful!!!
Well, honestly, I don't think anyone gets it down completely. I don't think we'll truly accomplish that until we see Him face to face. What I do know (and there are almost too many Scriptures to try to pick one) is that He forgives my sin. Even if I mess up everyday, He still forgives me because He loves me. And He's in the grace business. I John 1:8-9 "8 If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. 9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." Oh the faithfulness and justice of the Lord!! Oh how thankful I am for Him & His love!!
Does this mean I stop striving for a life without sin? No! I will strive for that until I meet Him in the flesh! Paul explains in Romans 7 how we know God's law, but our flesh takes us where we don't want to go and into things we don't want to do.
Sometimes I'm very thankful that I'm the only one that reads my blog...my own online diary. I know that this is a bunch of ramblings typed out, partly due to a sleeping pill kicking in (haha). But partly because this is how my brain works when I'm working things out with the Lord. He is able to follow the bunny trails that my brain takes! Actually, He knows where my thoughts are going before I do. And He gently guides me through all of these trails until I see Truth. He leads me through His Word to Truth. He leads me unto Himself - Truth! And I know that regardless of how garbled my thoughts may be, He is my Rock. He's the One who is Truth. I can always come back to the fact that He loves me, He died on the cross bearing my sins so that I may be forgiven, and that He will never leave me. He will continue guiding me on the path that leads me closer to Him. Some days I'll do better than others. Some days I'll fall a lot harder than others. Some days my mood will be better than others. But I know that no matter what's going on with me, He is unchanging! His love, forgiveness, grace and presence will never change, never leave, never go away!! And for that, I'm so thankful!!!
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