Disclaimer: I am not seeking pity, just honestly sharing my heart.
Today I am struggling. I suppose it’s my fault that I got onto Facebook & Twitter on Mother’s Day weekend. Don’t misunderstand me. I’m not on a crusade against Mother’s Day or moms. I love moms. I loved my mom so much it could make my heart hurt. But when you are a single woman over the age of 25, the Church can feel like the most cruel place to be on Mother’s Day. I’m not going to lie – I haven’t gone to Church on Mother’s Day since my mom died. Sitting in the crowd, not being a mother and no longer having a mother, when all the moms are asked to stand or given a rose – and almost EVERY woman over 25 but you falls in that category – is hard. Before you start to lecture me or preach at me, answer this question – when was the last time you went to a church where you knew next to no one by yourself? And then came home to no spouse to talk with about the sermon? I go to churches all the time in southern Illinois as a single 34-year-old – I DO hard all of the time…this day can just sting the heart more. And, I’m not disqualifying the pain of those who deal with infertility, I've prayed and cried more prayers and tears with these friends than I can remember. But they are usually sitting in the pew with their husbands – having someone to mourn with the loss of what they thought life would be. I’m not trying to diminish that pain. But it’s not the same as a single woman, sitting by herself, praying with all that is within her that God will keep her heart from being offended…because her heart desires to be married and adopt a rainbow tribe of children to love.
I know that I am blessed beyond belief. God gave me to one of the most wonderful mothers to ever walk the face of the earth. I was blessed that my grandmother loved and taught me so much. I’m blessed to have aunts that are so good to me. I’m blessed that I grew up in the Church & have had so many honorary mothers and grandmothers I couldn't name them all. I know that I am blessed. And for those blessings, I will forever be grateful! I will continue to do what my mother taught me – honor these ladies all year long. My mom hated the corsages & the pomp on Mother’s Day. When I was about 7, she told me “Show me you love me all year long, not just on one made-up holiday”. I do celebrate moms! I pray that you are blessed with children who show you they love you all year long! And I will do my best to show you that too! Rather than bursting in tears, looking completely sad & ruining your celebration, I’ll just be praying for you & the ones that gave you the title “Mom” from my prayer closet at home on Mother’s Day morning!
