2015....Time to KNOW His voice..

I have been asking the Lord this past week or two, what is going to be important for 2015?  What is something that believers need to know, understand, receive fresh revelation on?  I've heard Him tell me (and others) that it's going to be important to truly KNOW His voice in the coming year.  In John 10:27 Jesus said, "My sheep know My voice, and I know them. They follow Me".  We can only follow Him if we know His voice.  And how do we come to know His voice?  You have to spend time with Him.  I'll never forget when I'd only been at a new church a short time and I had to call one of the ladies I was working with in children's ministry.  Her husband answered the phone, I asked for his wife, then I heard him tell her "Meredith's on the phone for you".  I asked if they'd gotten Caller ID (yeah, it was a while ago lol).  He told me they still didn't have caller ID....he knew my voice because of the time I'd spent with them!  Have you had something like that happen?  I was so excited!  Even thinking about it now, almost 15 years later, my heart remembers the joy I felt when my voice had been recognized!  And these were just people I was getting to know at church (and still do love, by the way).  Can you imagine God's joy when we recognize His voice?  He created us, He longs for relationship with us, He longs to hear OUR voice.  I can't imagine how His heart must feel when we recognize His voice!

We're told in Isaiah 60:2 that a deep darkness is coming, that will cover the whole earth.  It's going to happen, the days will grow darker, evil will be more prevalent.  But, in the same verse, He also tells us "but the Lord will arise upon you, and His glory will be seen upon you".  Wow!  His glory will be seen upon us!  Do you know part of the equation of that happening?  Following His voice!

I also hear the Lord saying that we're at that point in time where His people need to know His voice for themselves.  I'm probably not the only one that's guilty of going to people that I know hear the Lord, and asking their take on things.  Don't get me wrong...we're still part of the Body, and I think it's important for us to share, but the time's upon us that we need to be able to discern His voice for ourselves at a greater level.  He has called us His friends, and He wants to share His secrets with us...not just a few of us, but every one of us that He calls "friend".  

Another part of knowing His voice is discerning what you're hearing.  If you hear a voice that sounds like the Lord's, but what you're hearing doesn't line up with Scripture, it's not God!  Don't follow that voice!  Run the other direction, don't pass Go, don't collect $200!  God is the same yesterday, today and forevermore.  He will never tell you something or lead you somewhere that doesn't line up with His Word.  He can't do that, because that would make Him a liar, and He's not man, He can't lie.  

I've also been hearing with increased intensity that it's time to truly follow when we hear His voice.  It's always good to seek Godly counsel (Proverbs 12:15).  Sometimes, though, you need to have faith and do what you heard the Lord say.  Almost a decade ago when God was calling me to spend a year in China, I sought counsel.  I will forever be thankful for the people God has had in my life since before I was born...I know that I am truly blessed to know and love, be known and loved by so many Godly people.  When planning for China, though, I had differing counsel from these Godly people.  Some told me "of course, that's God, GO!"  I was also told "you're still single, God wouldn't be sending a single woman to the mission field around the world".  And others who pointed out "shouldn't you be getting a job here to pay off those grad school loans?".  Then, before I left, they found my dad's brain tumor.  Time to seek counsel BIG TIME!  I had some who said "Go ahead and go to China, they need to know God and He'll take care of your parents".  (Thankfully my parents were in this category!)  And I had many people reminding me that Scripture says to "honor your mother and father" and that I should cancel my plans, stay home and help my mom with my dad.  I was receiving counsel from MANY Godly people, so many that had helped lay my foundation in the Lord.  Ultimately, I had to hear God's voice and follow Him.  He met me while I was praying, seeking Him, struggling to hear His voice.  I heard Him say "read Matthew 10:37".  I turned there.  Know what it says?  "Whoever loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me".  Talk about clarity!!  Now, I'm not saying that you should never take care of your family.  After China, I took care of my mom until she passed from her ovarian cancer.  And I am still Dad's caregiver...because that's what I've heard the Lord ask me to do.  

A lot of the time, following God will not follow conventional wisdom.  1 Corinthians 1:27 says "But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise".  And sometimes, He will ask us to step out, follow Him where other believers aren't going.  This is why it's so important to know His Word, so that we can discern whether it's His leading or not.

So, my prayer for the Church (you and me) is that we would take the time to get to KNOW His voice.  That He would open the ears of the inner man so that we could hear clearly in the midst of the white noise in our lives.  That He will give us fresh revelation of His Word, His voice, His leadership!  I pray that in 2015, the Church will be set apart; that the world would know we are His because we're following Him!  That the glory of the Lord will be seen upon us!!

Not Every Single Woman at Church Wants your Husband

I wasn't going to say anything, but my heart is just so troubled by a call that I received from a friend last week.  She’s a fairly new believer and very newly plugged in to a church.  She’s a smidge younger than me (early 30s).  She’s single, never been married.  She’s found a church where she has friends that attend and she really enjoys.

Here’s why my heart is breaking.  She called to say that she’d been told her friends no longer feel comfortable spending so much time with her.  Her friends are all married.  And some of the church leaders had counseled her friends that it’s not wise to invite my friend (who is *gasp* single) because she’s probably trying to steal their husbands!  She never called just to talk to the husbands.  She never sought out time to be alone with the husbands.  But, since she’s single, it’s a given that she’s out to wreck the marriage!  This infuriates me!

And this hit a nerve, because I've had similar things said about and to me.  It’s so sad that the Church not only allows this kind of mindset, but in some places, actually perpetuates this attitude.  I remember when my friends and I were fresh out of college…starting the (first of many) wedding rounds.  I was in a friend’s wedding, and at the rehearsal I found out I was walking down the aisle with the husband of the gal who was coordinating things.  I was seriously confused when I took the guy’s offered arm to walk down the aisle (you know, like at a wedding), and his wife said “oh, I don’t think you need to be THAT close!”  At the dinner after rehearsal, I overheard her telling others that since I was the only single gal there, they should watch out because I was probably after their husbands/fiancés.  Seriously?  I mean, it’s a wedding procession for goodness’ sake.  And really, I didn't think your husband was all that.  I thought it was a one-time incident, but sadly it wasn't.

I've had friends tell me that we just can’t be very close anymore because the leaders in their churches have warned them about being friends with a single woman…oddly no one’s been told this about their single male friends.  Here’s the deal…God has not given me peace to date a divorced man whose wife left him.  So, why on earth would I try to steal your husband?!  Not to mention the fact that YOU ARE MY FRIEND….or at least supposed to be….why would I do anything to hurt you?!  If I get married one day, and God-forbid you find yourself divorced or widowed, do I need to worry about you stealing my husband??  I should hope not!!

I am so very thankful for the brothers in Christ I have gained when my friends got married!  I love my girl time with my gals….but I also love being able to hang out with them as a couple.  I’m thankful for the sisters in Christ I now have when my guy friends got married!  And I love when they have kids and I get to be the cool “Aunt Mere”.  I’m thankful when I can ask a question about purchasing a furnace, get help on fixing the lawnmower, and get a guy’s perspective on how things are progressing (or not) with the guy I’m crushing on!

I’m concerned that I’m seeing/hearing an increase in the attitude that single women are out to steal husbands or worse yet, being accused of having a Jezebel spirit.  The percentage of adults that are single is rising.  I pray that doesn’t mean the accusations are going to increase as well.  I pray for the day that single adults can be viewed as WHOLE, not half of a person.  I pray for the day that genuine friendships are not viewed in any way other than Godly.

One Day...

Have you ever found yourself saying “One day…”?  What was at the end of your thought?  Or are you like me and you have many endings to that thought?  Mine becomes a list.

One Day….

- I’ll find a man that wants to marry me and I want to marry.

- I’ll adopt my “rainbow tribe” of kids!

- I will feel free in this life.

- I will travel to new countries around the globe.

- I will find a church where I feel like I fit.

- I will simply feel like I belong somewhere.

- I won’t be stuck in a body that hates me and makes me feel old and hurt.

- I will not be afraid to let people see the real me – I am not happy about

   everything all of the time – and I shouldn't have to act like I am.

Then I remember that never will everything feel perfect in the world thanks to sin entering a few thousand years ago.  And my heart will always feel lonely because I was created to be in constant communion with God.

And I can be thankful that One Day...

- Jesus will make the wrong things right.

- I will see Jesus face to face and none (or at least almost none) of these will be of

   any importance.

#Godissogood

Most of you know we've had a very eventful 3 weeks or so at my house.  Dad had a heart attack on June 12.  They attempted a cardiac cath at the first hospital we were transferred to, and then we transferred to Barnes in St. Louis.  At Barnes, we found out they had really done a lot of damage to Dad’s heart at the smaller hospital, so we had to wait for him to heal before trying to place a stent again.  Then he lost most of his strength & had to stay in a rehab/therapy program.

In the midst of all of this with Dad, I ended up with a pulmonary embolism (blood clot in my lung).  I had (what I thought was) a really bad Charley horse (which I get often), but my leg never quit cramping for 4 days.  So by the time I got home to my nurse practitioner, we found the clot in my lung.  Ahh…life.

I tried to post regularly on Facebook about everything taking place, because we were blessed with so many people praying for us that I couldn't keep everyone updated without Facebook.  I tried to convey how grateful we were/are for the prayers every time.  And because I’m young at heart J, I used hashtags in my posts.

Most of the hashtags had to do with being thankful, grateful that God has been with us through everything.  One that I used was “#Godissogood”, another was “#soblessed”.  I received a few messages from people with the main theme being that they were glad God was answering our prayers the way we wanted them, because their own family situations had not had good outcomes.  So, I wanted to clarify something.

The people that sent me messages were not mean people, they are hurting people.  People that prayed and feel as though their prayers went unheard by God.  Yes, I am thankful that Daddy & I are both still alive, and seem to be on good paths for getting back to normal.  But here’s the deal – I would still be blessed and God would still be good even if the outcomes were different!  God is always good!  Psalm 136:1 says “Oh, give thanks to the Lord, for He is good!  For His mercy endures forever.”  And Deuteronomy 31:6  tells us “Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the Lord your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you”.  The circumstances in my life do not change God’s goodness!  Nor should they change my thankfulness to Him!  And I have His promise that He will not leave me…He’ll be with me no matter what is going on.

My mom had ovarian cancer and suffered tremendously until she saw Jesus face to face.  Through all of that, God was still good!  In the moments after she passed and I missed her and my heart hurt, He was still good!  If my dad hadn't survived his heart attack, God would still be good, and I would still thank Him for His mercy.  If my blood clot had ruptured and things ended differently, God would still be near and He would still be good!

Yes, there will be times in this life when life just stinks and is hard!  It’s reality, we live in a fallen world.  Sometimes circumstances will make it hard to thank Him, hard to trust Him.  But until He fails to honor His word to me, I will choose to be thankful – regardless of the circumstances.  And I will keep telling others that I know that #Godissogood and I am #soblessed because of His great love!

Why I don’t go to church on Mother’s Day…

Disclaimer: I am not seeking pity, just honestly sharing my heart.

Today I am struggling. I suppose it’s my fault that I got onto Facebook & Twitter on Mother’s Day weekend. Don’t misunderstand me. I’m not on a crusade against Mother’s Day or moms. I love moms. I loved my mom so much it could make my heart hurt. But when you are a single woman over the age of 25, the Church can feel like the most cruel place to be on Mother’s Day. I’m not going to lie – I haven’t gone to Church on Mother’s Day since my mom died. Sitting in the crowd, not being a mother and no longer having a mother, when all the moms are asked to stand or given a rose – and almost EVERY woman over 25 but you falls in that category – is hard. Before you start to lecture me or preach at me, answer this question – when was the last time you went to a church where you knew next to no one by yourself? And then came home to no spouse to talk with about the sermon? I go to churches all the time in southern Illinois as a single 34-year-old – I DO hard all of the time…this day can just sting the heart more. And, I’m not disqualifying the pain of those who deal with infertility, I've prayed and cried more prayers and tears with these friends than I can remember. But they are usually sitting in the pew with their husbands – having someone to mourn with the loss of what they thought life would be. I’m not trying to diminish that pain. But it’s not the same as a single woman, sitting by herself, praying with all that is within her that God will keep her heart from being offended…because her heart desires to be married and adopt a rainbow tribe of children to love.

I know that I am blessed beyond belief. God gave me to one of the most wonderful mothers to ever walk the face of the earth. I was blessed that my grandmother loved and taught me so much. I’m blessed to have aunts that are so good to me. I’m blessed that I grew up in the Church & have had so many honorary mothers and grandmothers I couldn't name them all. I know that I am blessed. And for those blessings, I will forever be grateful! I will continue to do what my mother taught me – honor these ladies all year long. My mom hated the corsages & the pomp on Mother’s Day. When I was about 7, she told me “Show me you love me all year long, not just on one made-up holiday”. I do celebrate moms! I pray that you are blessed with children who show you they love you all year long! And I will do my best to show you that too! Rather than bursting in tears, looking completely sad & ruining your celebration, I’ll just be praying for you & the ones that gave you the title “Mom” from my prayer closet at home on Mother’s Day morning!

Whose are you?

As I was reading through an old journal, I ran across this gem “The important question is not WHO you are, but WHOSE you are”.  A few months ago in Walmart, this 90+-year-old lady that was stooped over her cart kept staring at me.  I asked her if she needed help reaching something. (Now I’m not tall, but since she seemed not to be 5 ft, I figured odds were better I could reach something!)  She said “Oh, no, sorry, I didn't need anything.  But I have to ask you, are you related to Helen Meredith?”  I was a little surprised by the question, but replied “Yes, she was my grandmother”.  She said “I knew it!  You look so much like her!  So, is your mom Linda or Gladys?  You look like them.”  I told her that Gladys was my mom.  She smiled and went on to tell me that she thought they were both very sweet and nice people.  I agreed. :) And then she went on her way.

I smiled, did the rest of my shopping, smiling while checking out and driving home.  My mom and my grandma were 2 of my most favorite people on Earth!  I realized, though, this lady never asked my name & I shamefully didn't ask hers).  So it hit me that she doesn't know WHO I am, but she knows WHOSE I am.  

This relates to our spiritual life.  The most important questions - “WHOSE am I?  Who do I belong to?”  In order to know my identity, I have to know who I belong to.  Yes, I am a person who stumbles & fails more often than I wish to admit.  But I belong to the Most High King!  I have been bought by the blood of the slain Lamb!!  Jesus says “She is Mine!  I paid the price for her, she has given her life to me.  She is Mine!”  As believers, we are called to be “in” this world, but not “of” it.  

I will never tire of being told I resemble Mom & Grandma, or that I act/sound like Mom & Grandpa because of how much I loved them.  But, how much more awesome is it when someone says “Are you a Christian?  I see Jesus in you.  Your actions are so much like His and your words sound like His.”?!  We are called to “Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.”!  We can’t let our light shine, though, until we know WHOSE we are.  

So, WHOSE are you?  Who do you belong to?  If you don’t belong to Jesus…I can promise you that He WANTS you to belong to Him!  Tomorrow (Good Friday) is the day we remember how much He loves us & wants us to be His – He went to the cross to die a cruel death for our sins.  THAT is love!!  THAT is the action of someone who wants you to be His!!  I will be eternally grateful that I can rest in the knowledge that I am Beloved’s and He is mine!

The Spirit of Adoption

What have I spent the last hour doing? I've been reading adoption blogs & crying over the beautiful pictures of little ones whose forever families have found them! I think that adoption is so close to the heart of God. In fact, I know it is since He has adopted us into His family.

On a regular basis I pray for LIFE - the ending of abortion. I vote, I call my legislators, I try to inform others, and I PRAY. I pray not just for the ending of abortion, but also for God to increase the spirit of adoption. I'm not really sure how you can pray for one without the other. Yes, sometimes women who choose life for their baby will go ahead and keep their little one. But, there are so many that are seeking abortion because there are circumstances outside of their control that will prohibit them from keeping and raising their baby. Some of these women have so much love for their babies, they put them up for adoption because of their great love. I think the Church often forgets the sacrifice this girl is making and forgets to love her, but that's a different story.

If we truly want abortion to end, we have to become active in the reality of adoption. I know what you're thinking, it's easy for the single girl sitting behind her computer to say that to others, but I truly believe adoption is on the heart of God. I know it's hard to wait & wait for a birth mother to say "yes", and I know it's expensive. But I also know that I have friends who have been unable to have babies that share their DNA, so they spend lots of money for all kinds of fertility treatments. I have prayed with and for these friends. And it breaks my heart to see their arms, hearts and bank accounts empty when those treatments don't work...leaving them without a little one in their arms.

I want to adopt one day. I would love to have 6 children of all different skin and eye colors, hair types and just plain gorgeousness! In my mind, I can picture having my own "rainbow tribe". I've sought the Lord on this desire, but He has let me know that adopting while I'm still single is not His plan for me. So, He's either going to send me a husband with a heart for adoption, or He'll continue to burden my heart to go to the place of prayer. I will still pray that if He has placed the desire for adoption on my heart, He will line up my circumstances with His plans. Since there's no husband on the horizon, though, I will keep praying for God to open the hearts of those He is wanting to bless with one of His precious little ones. And I'll continue to pray that when hearts are open, that He will provide finances. And I'll pray for the hearts of these dear little ones...that they will know the love of earthly moms and dads, and that they will ultimately know they are loved by the God of the universe!

LIFE and Voting

I voted early today for the Illinois primary.  (Since I'm serving as an election judge out of my precinct, I had to vote early.)  As I filled in ovals on my ballot, I looked down and, yet again, noticed the red band I have worn on my wrist every day for 7 years.  Over the years, I've had many people ask me about it.  It says "LIFE".

The LIFE band was born out of a ministry that prays for the ending of abortion.  I truly believe God meant it when He said "thou shalt not murder" (Exodus 20:13).  I believe He meant it when He said that He hates "hands that shed innocent blood" (Prov 6:16-17).  I believe He meant it when He said "Whoever sheds man's blood, By man his blood shall be shed; For in the image of God He made man" (Genesis 9:6).  For the bloodshed of slavery in our nation, 600,000 men died.  My heart grieves when I think about the debt we will pay for the murdering of 55+ million innocent unborn babies.

I believe that life begins at conception.  When someone announces they are pregnant and we ask "what are you having?", we know the answer is a baby - we just wonder if it's a boy or a girl.  The answer will never be "a rock, a computer, a telephone", no, it is LIFE, a living human being!  I also believe that the heart of EVERY human knows it is life as well, no matter how deceived they've become.

So what does that have to do with voting?  Well, our nation is divided on the issue of legalized abortion and has been since the 1973 ruling in Roe v Wade.  Many, though sadly not all, Christians are pro-life.  Yet, many Christians don't participate in voting. My belief is that we (US citizens) are something like Esther.  We have been born (or naturalized) into a nation in which we have a voice in our government.  Maybe we've been placed here for "such a time as this" (Esther 4:14).  Yes, I know that our system is not perfect.  And, I know that it may seem your vote doesn't count.  (Um, hello, I live in Illinois & normally the maps show my state all one color, with 2 or 3 counties the color of the winning party because that's where larger populations are located.)  Maybe your vote is like mine and won't change things on the national landscape.  But, what would happen if thousands who feel that way voted?  It might change things.  And, for me, the bigger issue is that when I stand before God and give my account, I can tell Him that I voted for LIFE.

Back to the LIFE band, I don't wear a band on my wrist to remind myself to vote pro-life once or twice a year.  Every time I see this band, I am reminded to pray for the ending of abortion.  Prayer is the most important thing I can do.  I know that God's heart is grieved for the millions of unborn slaughtered every year.  I know that His heart is for the hearts of the mothers and fathers to be turned to the children.  I know that Jesus longs to see justice!  So I pray for the ending of abortion and for revival to spread through our nation!  And I vote, call legislators, work to inform others....  I believe "the effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much" (James 5:16)!  But I also believe He gives us opportunities to "Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy" (Proverbs 31:9).  The unborn desperately need our voice, both in the place of prayer and the national arena!