Over the past decade or so, I've seen a shift in our nation. Maybe it was already beginning and I just didn't notice it until I was 20. I think I started to really notice this shift when I was an undergraduate student working toward my Bachelor of Social Work degree. In Social Work, the phrase " stop blaming the victim" comes up quite frequently. And if it's used toward you, it's a bad thing! I was accused many times by professors and/or classmates of blaming the victim.
Now, mind you, I never blamed a person that was abused, or children that were neglected. I do not buy into "she was asking for it" when referring to a rape victim. I'm not cruel and heartless, I promise! When this phrase would be slapped onto my homework, usually it was a case of someone who had a lot of issues, yet someone else was always to blame. My theory in most of my papers & mock counseling sessions "take responsibility for your actions, quit blaming everyone else and move on". Now, I do realize there are some things that you really have to work through. I'm not at all saying you can just decide that you'll have no more issues today and "poof" they're all gone. No, that would be called "denial". (Or in some cases, God's instantaneous healing.) At some point, you have to say "I have no power to change the past, it is what it is, but I can choose to move forward today." And I do stand by my belief that in this nation, almost everyone is seen as a victim of something, therefore no one has to take the blame.
I see this happening in schools. Every year that I substitute teach, I notice the trend to worsen. I've been told by parents that it is NOT their child's fault that they didn't study for their tests...it's the TEACHER's fault for assigning too much work. The children hear their parents say this, and voila! we have a whole generation of people that are not responsible for their actions.
Just in recent events, the shooting in Arizona on Saturday is a prime example. According to some reports, this obviously unstable gunman in AZ shot these people because of political rhetoric from one or both sides. Really? Why can't we just say that it's the individual's fault for pulling the trigger & he's the one that should be held responsible for his actions? Maybe he had a bad home life. It's possible. Ya know what? Lots of people have bad childhoods, yet they don't shoot 19 people in a grocery store parking lot, killing 6 of them! Maybe he heard something on the news that set him off. But again, he didn't hear anything that thousands and/or millions others didn't hear, yet he was the only one shooting.
I think I've realized why it disheartens me so much when I see all of these adults taking a victim mentality & constantly finding someone else to blame. I think it's because each and every person is going to have to stand before God one day for judgment. And I know that He will not accept "well, You don't understand what happened to me, You don't know how they bullied me on the playground, etc, etc." I fear that many people will hear that they're not allowed to enter into eternity with God because they've never been taught nor taken responsibility for their own actions or deeds. Eventually the blame-game will end...I'm just saddened in how I think it will end in eternity away from God for many.
Monday, January 10, 2011
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Hearing a call...
Just yesterday, I found myself in 2 different conversations regarding my 4-month stint with the New Life Drama Company. So, I started reminiscing. That means the good, the bad & the ugly comes to mind! My time with NLDC was quite the ride! Just getting there was a huge part of the ride!
In July of 2002, we had a NLDC team at church camp. This was probably the 2nd or 3rd time I'd seen various teams and I loved what they did! I loved their skits during devotions & services. And I truly appreciated that they served. They served the campers, but they also served the staff. It was common to see at least 2 of the 7 team members serving food in the cafeteria. They were sweeping floors in the dorms, cleaning bathrooms in the chapel, just finding little ways to serve us. And most of the time, it was without being asked to do so! At this time, I was working at the Clay County Counseling Center as a Social Worker at a job that I actually enjoyed. I worked with an adult program working with those in a residential home - teaching adult living skills. I also took Crisis Call, in which I counseled (and sometimes hospitalized) suicidal and/or homicidal people. It sounds crazy, but I really did like the job.
And liking the job as much as I did is what made what I heard that week at church camp even more weird. I remember sharing with my mom and a few close friends "I think I'm supposed to join NLDC...just for one tour, but I think I'm supposed to". Now, mind you, I had never done ANY acting...none at all! I wasn't even in school musicals because of my work study job. I had sang in front of people and spoke in front of people, but NEVER acted! So, feeling God calling me to this was really strange! And since it was so strange, the week after church camp ended...I calloused my heart toward the tug at my heart and tried to forget about it. Plus my mom had been having weird allergic reactions...and we didn't know to what. But in the 2 months prior to that week of camp, the hospital (where she worked) had called me 4 times that I needed to get there because she'd had a reaction and they were getting ready to intubate. Fortunately, they didn't have to, but once we had to call the ambulance to have her taken to ER and she had since had to carry AND use an epi pen. My dad couldn't drive and my sister was in college and working full time. So I was scared to leave my mom...what if she needed me during that time. What if she had a reaction and died because I wasn't there to call the ambulance. This all made it a little easier to ignore the tugging at my heart.
The next month, the counseling center was overtaken by a different agency. This new agency was one that I could not work under with a clear conscience. So I planned to not ask for re-hire through them and draw unemployment for a few months while job searching again. I also applied for my Substitute Teacher certification. The 3rd week of August, I was called to sub, and thus began a huge part of my life...but that's a different story! The last day of August, I felt that tug about NLDC so strongly that I couldn't really deny it. So I spoke to my parents and my pastor, called the NLDC office and began the application process. I sent my paperwork in the first week of September and waited and waited. I called the office and they said they'd lost my pastor's recommendation, but other than that, I was probably in. So on Wednesday, Sept 11, my pastor got the phone call & when I stopped by his house, he said "yeah, you're most likely in"! On Thursday, Sept 12, I got a phone call from NLDC Homebase. I was accepted & expected to report to Cleveland, TN on Sunday. That Sunday -- September 15th! AGH!! Talk about short notice!!
So I began choosing clothes "bring all seasons of clothing because you don't know which region of the nation you'll be assigned to" that fit into ONE medium suitcase. Yeah, one suitcase for 4 months! I had to raise mission support, so the Friday I sent out letters to every church and basically every Christian I knew! I had enough money in my checking account to pay the initial joining fee, but that was about it. And though the drama co paid for food and transportation, I still needed money for essentials (soap, shampoo, sodas @ gas stations, etc.) On Sunday morning, I shared with my church that I would be leaving that afternoon and be back for Christmas. I came home, had lunch with my parents and sister, and then I got into my car & drove to Cleveland, TN.
I listened to worship music the whole time (that I wasn't talking to my mom on my cell phone haha). I remember thinking..."I know NOTHING about acting! Maybe they'll let me be the person that runs the music for different skits. Maybe I'll be on a team that's big enough that I won't have to be in many skits! I have NO idea what I'm getting into!"
I was in my car, following a dream that God had recently put into my heart that I really did not understand. All that I did understand was this: God was calling me, and I had NO peace until I followed. And though I was nervous, scared and anxious for that whole trip, I still had the peace of God in my heart....and I knew that was all I needed.
In July of 2002, we had a NLDC team at church camp. This was probably the 2nd or 3rd time I'd seen various teams and I loved what they did! I loved their skits during devotions & services. And I truly appreciated that they served. They served the campers, but they also served the staff. It was common to see at least 2 of the 7 team members serving food in the cafeteria. They were sweeping floors in the dorms, cleaning bathrooms in the chapel, just finding little ways to serve us. And most of the time, it was without being asked to do so! At this time, I was working at the Clay County Counseling Center as a Social Worker at a job that I actually enjoyed. I worked with an adult program working with those in a residential home - teaching adult living skills. I also took Crisis Call, in which I counseled (and sometimes hospitalized) suicidal and/or homicidal people. It sounds crazy, but I really did like the job.
And liking the job as much as I did is what made what I heard that week at church camp even more weird. I remember sharing with my mom and a few close friends "I think I'm supposed to join NLDC...just for one tour, but I think I'm supposed to". Now, mind you, I had never done ANY acting...none at all! I wasn't even in school musicals because of my work study job. I had sang in front of people and spoke in front of people, but NEVER acted! So, feeling God calling me to this was really strange! And since it was so strange, the week after church camp ended...I calloused my heart toward the tug at my heart and tried to forget about it. Plus my mom had been having weird allergic reactions...and we didn't know to what. But in the 2 months prior to that week of camp, the hospital (where she worked) had called me 4 times that I needed to get there because she'd had a reaction and they were getting ready to intubate. Fortunately, they didn't have to, but once we had to call the ambulance to have her taken to ER and she had since had to carry AND use an epi pen. My dad couldn't drive and my sister was in college and working full time. So I was scared to leave my mom...what if she needed me during that time. What if she had a reaction and died because I wasn't there to call the ambulance. This all made it a little easier to ignore the tugging at my heart.
The next month, the counseling center was overtaken by a different agency. This new agency was one that I could not work under with a clear conscience. So I planned to not ask for re-hire through them and draw unemployment for a few months while job searching again. I also applied for my Substitute Teacher certification. The 3rd week of August, I was called to sub, and thus began a huge part of my life...but that's a different story! The last day of August, I felt that tug about NLDC so strongly that I couldn't really deny it. So I spoke to my parents and my pastor, called the NLDC office and began the application process. I sent my paperwork in the first week of September and waited and waited. I called the office and they said they'd lost my pastor's recommendation, but other than that, I was probably in. So on Wednesday, Sept 11, my pastor got the phone call & when I stopped by his house, he said "yeah, you're most likely in"! On Thursday, Sept 12, I got a phone call from NLDC Homebase. I was accepted & expected to report to Cleveland, TN on Sunday. That Sunday -- September 15th! AGH!! Talk about short notice!!
So I began choosing clothes "bring all seasons of clothing because you don't know which region of the nation you'll be assigned to" that fit into ONE medium suitcase. Yeah, one suitcase for 4 months! I had to raise mission support, so the Friday I sent out letters to every church and basically every Christian I knew! I had enough money in my checking account to pay the initial joining fee, but that was about it. And though the drama co paid for food and transportation, I still needed money for essentials (soap, shampoo, sodas @ gas stations, etc.) On Sunday morning, I shared with my church that I would be leaving that afternoon and be back for Christmas. I came home, had lunch with my parents and sister, and then I got into my car & drove to Cleveland, TN.
I listened to worship music the whole time (that I wasn't talking to my mom on my cell phone haha). I remember thinking..."I know NOTHING about acting! Maybe they'll let me be the person that runs the music for different skits. Maybe I'll be on a team that's big enough that I won't have to be in many skits! I have NO idea what I'm getting into!"
I was in my car, following a dream that God had recently put into my heart that I really did not understand. All that I did understand was this: God was calling me, and I had NO peace until I followed. And though I was nervous, scared and anxious for that whole trip, I still had the peace of God in my heart....and I knew that was all I needed.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Whew! Another holiday season is over...
The holiday season has now passed! Whew! It's almost as though I'm hearing a collective sigh throughout the region! haha I know that I'm not alone when I say that this holiday season seemed to be the longest, most exhausting. I've had well-meaning people tell me that it's because Mom wasn't here, but that's honestly not it. I can't pinpoint it, but other people have shared this comment...and they haven't lost loved ones. It was just a long and stressful season.
I'm pretty sure I know what the problem was for me. I fell back into trying to please people. I found myself more than once (or twice or 20 times) thinking "will this make so & so happy? will he/she be angry if I don't do this? I hope I don't disappoint anybody!" Ahh, there's the root of it! People-pleasing is all about not wanting to disappoint others. And while I'm not advocating that we purposefully disappoint people...I know that I need to remember that there's only One whose opinion and approval of me counts! I think that's why the season was so long for me...I forgot to ask Jesus what would make Him pleased with me. I genuinely love people and want to see them happy, but I let my priorities get out of whack!
Now I'm not one for making New Year's resolutions. They are almost always goals that are way too stinkin' high and unattainable. And that's what makes us become discouraged so quickly that we just give up rather than keep trying. So I'm not planning any resolutions for New Year's. I am, though, working to re-train my focus again.
I need for my focus to not be on myself or even others during this season. I feel that this is a season in which God is really calling me unto Himself. No, this doesn't mean I can quit taking care of my dad or stop talking to people altogether. What it does mean, though, is that I need to work on my priorities. If He's not my #1 priority, nothing else will be right. He has to be the foundation. Anything that's built on an unstable or cracked foundation will surely be destroyed. So no matter how many wonderful things I may do - even in His name, will crumble if He's not the foundation. So that's what I'm striving for...to put God first and foremost in a way I've not done yet. Not so much a New Year's resolution, but a daily (and sometimes momentary) resolution. And really, when I remember how much He loves me, how much He desires to spend time with me, to impart to me what He's feeling and what He's thinking....it makes it so much easier to remember to spend time with Him!
I'm pretty sure I know what the problem was for me. I fell back into trying to please people. I found myself more than once (or twice or 20 times) thinking "will this make so & so happy? will he/she be angry if I don't do this? I hope I don't disappoint anybody!" Ahh, there's the root of it! People-pleasing is all about not wanting to disappoint others. And while I'm not advocating that we purposefully disappoint people...I know that I need to remember that there's only One whose opinion and approval of me counts! I think that's why the season was so long for me...I forgot to ask Jesus what would make Him pleased with me. I genuinely love people and want to see them happy, but I let my priorities get out of whack!
Now I'm not one for making New Year's resolutions. They are almost always goals that are way too stinkin' high and unattainable. And that's what makes us become discouraged so quickly that we just give up rather than keep trying. So I'm not planning any resolutions for New Year's. I am, though, working to re-train my focus again.
I need for my focus to not be on myself or even others during this season. I feel that this is a season in which God is really calling me unto Himself. No, this doesn't mean I can quit taking care of my dad or stop talking to people altogether. What it does mean, though, is that I need to work on my priorities. If He's not my #1 priority, nothing else will be right. He has to be the foundation. Anything that's built on an unstable or cracked foundation will surely be destroyed. So no matter how many wonderful things I may do - even in His name, will crumble if He's not the foundation. So that's what I'm striving for...to put God first and foremost in a way I've not done yet. Not so much a New Year's resolution, but a daily (and sometimes momentary) resolution. And really, when I remember how much He loves me, how much He desires to spend time with me, to impart to me what He's feeling and what He's thinking....it makes it so much easier to remember to spend time with Him!
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